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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: fsoduck on May 25, 2014, 08:29:32 AM



Title: Violence
Post by: fsoduck on May 25, 2014, 08:29:32 AM
Is it rare for a BPD/NPD to act out violently in one of their rages? My BPD/NPD Dw attacked me yesterday morning.  This has happened before, but this is the worst and it genuinely had me fearing for my safety. 

She was kicking, punching at my face and slapping me.  She also bit me on the hand while I was holding her hand to keep her from hitting me. She had me cornered against the bathroom sink at that time. She then took my cell phone, my glasses and car key to keep from leaving the house. I got them back when she got in her car and I was able to run out, grab her bag and then lock her out of the house. In my book, not only the physical aspect but the taking of the glasses, leaving me sightless and unable to go anywhere even without my car nets tells me my DW is capable of doing anything. I am debating now whether and how to report this to the police at I have it on record. I think this behavior may also warrant a TPO.

I have posted elsewhere on finances.  I need an attorney and if I can get access to my retirement savings without BPDW's having to sign off I can afford it.  Otherwise, I have nothing to pay an attorney with as DW has left me handling all the expenses and leaving nothing at the end of the month.


Title: Re: Violence
Post by: babyducks on May 25, 2014, 08:53:40 AM
fsoduck,

I am sorry that you had to go through that.  It's very disturbing.  I hope you are all right.

For me what you described is physical abuse and that is never okay.  Not once.  I would encourage you to find a quiet place and time to look at a safety plan for yourself and your family.   Safety plans can include keeping a spare set of keys and glasses some place outside the house so you can remove yourself should things escalate again.

I understand you are looking for answers and understanding when you ask
Excerpt
Is it rare for a BPD/NPD to act out violently in one of their rages?

  I can appreciate that since I am always looking for answers myself.    To answer you, I honestly believe that it doesn't matter how rare it is or isn't.   It only takes once to do permanent significant damage.   No one should have to live with the threat of violence.   

take care of yourself

'ducks


Title: Re: Violence
Post by: LettingGo14 on May 25, 2014, 09:08:31 AM


fsoduck, I am really sorry that happened.  There is information here for men:   Responding to Domestic Violence (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=87480.0)  I hope you find it helpful, and take care to protect yourself accordingly.

LG14


Title: Re: Violence
Post by: AwakenedOne on May 25, 2014, 05:05:22 PM
Is it rare for a BPD/NPD to act out violently in one of their rages?

No it isn't rare.

My abuser (uBPDstbxw), used to attack me in my sleep and would often also rage in a way such as you experienced yesterday. The only advice I can give you is to be careful. 

Peace,

AO