BPDFamily.com

 :'( I will be good in the morning like I can make it through the day and then in one second, I am anxious, crying, mad, missing, hate him, love him, want him to hold me, want to hurt him back like he did to me, want him to tell me how much he misses me and loves me and is so SORRY for what he has done to me and the kids and our lives... . Then I remember all the bad things he did, especially this last one of cheating and choosing her and then reality comes crashing down that WE will never be again.  All my dreams of traveling and us buying and remodeling and loving all gone by HIS actions and choices.  Even with possibly having BPD, he still made these horrible choices knowing the outcome and did not care... . DID NOT CARE!  DID NOT LOVE ME ENOUGH TO STOP!  I have been hearing songs that make me cry because I sing them and scream them and cry them and then I FEEL BETTER. I drain myself of all the suppressed emotions and I FEEL BETTER.  Then I can think more or less clearer that this is better for me and my kids than living a lie, hurting everyday, wondering what he would do to me next to kill OUR LOVE even more... . I like "Help ME Make it Through the Night by Kris Kristofferson.  I also like Christina Aguilera/Blake Shelton "Im Such A Fool" and Christina Aguilera/Great Big World "Say something Im giving up on you".  I also like Neil Diamond's "Love on the Rocks"-first they say they love you, then how they really need you, suddenly you find your out there walking in a storm, and when they know they have you, then they really have you, NOTHING you can do or say, you've got to leave, just get away,  we all KNOW the SONG!     Anyone else feel like this?

I know what you are going through

I am in the same boat as you are

the pain is sometimes unbearable

I found some peace in this early days in God

I know it will get better with me ... . He WILL help

Maybe you should try it

By the way

Music makes it worse !

It does... . it does.