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Title: Back to the Classroom to help my BPD BF Post by: Chapter8 on May 30, 2014, 10:40:42 AM Hi, my BPDh is very ill, he has had years of DBT therapy, CBT, you name it he's tried it. Not only is the BPD bad his self esteem is almost non existence. From childhood he was made to feel, ugly, disgusting, vile etc which has lead to him not being able to believe that he is worthy and beautiful and whole.
After two seperations, tonight is the night i bring everything I know and understand about his life, illness and inner self to the table. We are starting with lesson plans, the aim and the outcomes of the session/lesson, to identify what his daily fears are (leaving me alone in the house, what am I doing, thought about me and men throughout the day to name a few), how he reacts to those daily fears, on the scale of one to ten how much pain does he feel and continue this method for each of his fears - i.e. my family, friends, me (trusting). Then from being able to identify his fears and how much pain for those situations, then we can look at our boundaries and limits to address those and stick to them. I have notebooks, flip chart and rewards! He is greta at speaking and being honest with me, however I have difficulty speaking and communicating, not because I don't want to, its hard for me to word things and say them correctly, so writing them on a flip chart in discussion is a great way for me to learn and remember. Has anyone done this before, almost like address every issue we have and living it in the words we write down, almost like reading a book, if you read it once you will forget about it but if you read it often it will be there all the time and you then live by what you believe in and is fresh in your mind. Wish me luck, I'm not expecting miracles, but a lot less rage, sadness and isolation! Title: Re: Back to the Classroom to help my BPD BF Post by: LoveLove on May 30, 2014, 01:08:30 PM Bean84,
Thank you for sharing. I just came upon this site and BPD in general yesterday. I sense my bf has this... . he is now currently in therapy and we have a no contact rule in place right now. Yet, I too would like to learn how to validate if he does return. And it definitely is not easy - because I feel it takes "extra" thinking in knowing what to say in order not to trigger them further... . I do like your idea of writing things down though. I think that would help greatly! Title: Re: Back to the Classroom to help my BPD BF Post by: an0ught on June 01, 2014, 04:15:11 PM Hi Bean84,
kudos for trying so hard |iiii How did it go? What is your aim? Is he still in therapy? |