BPDFamily.com

He's not a big Facebook user.  Only has a few "friends".  I un-friended him but for some ISANE reason checked his out tonight.  He has a new friend.  She's very pretty.  Just moved here a few months ago.  I can't stop crying.

Emelie Emelie,

Please don't cry.  :'(  I know that it's very difficult to see, but it's actually one of the worst things you can do - checking his FB. If someone has no respect and can do that to you, he isn't worth your tears. And you are dealing with someone with BPD (assuming so since you are on this board) - thus, remember, they do not think like "normal" people do.

Do something that's good for YOU, and makes YOU happy. You must contain your own sanity.   

I have religiously not checked his Facebook.  I was just having such a hard time today and I broke down.  I don't want to cry over him anymore but I can't stop.  It's the first time I've been faced with this.  I don't know what to do.  I am an absolute mess. 

Trust me, we've all been there. And we've all made the mistake of checking FB or other social media, but remember, you are only torturing yourself. I know it's easier said than done, but you must pick yourself back up and take care of yourself.

I used to cry endlessly when I went through a break-up, but over the years I've learned how unproductive and unhealthy that is. Each day will pass - whether you are happy, sad, angry, or whatever emotion that you are feeling. Thus, YOU have the power to control how you feel - do not allow someone else to dictate how you should be feeling. By crying over him, you are giving HIM the power to make you feel the way you do. And does he deserve it? Probably not... .

Again, I know it's difficult, but try finding an activity that you enjoy in order to distract yourself. Being around others usually helps - talking about other things definitely helps as it will distract your mind... . meditation is also a great way to relax and calm your mind.

It's the worst. I have the biggest phobia of going on her facebook so I just don't. It's why I play with the idea of blocking her on there as well. I once checked her new bfs facebook and went off the deep end, cried until the sun rose. Just stay on here, keep talking it out, keep venting, keep posting

Hon, cry until you are done - this is how we get it out.   

There is no simple or painless way through this, but as you peel through the layers, you will heal.  You are not alone - I have been in your shoes and it really will get better with time and tears.

Peace,

SB

Em big hugs. It's so hard. I've lived through this recently as you know. When I discovered he had replaced me it sent me to the depths of despair. Rockbottom. It doesn't get worse than this. Cry it all out. I still am, months later. But I'm making progress.

Just comfort yourself any way you can. I took hot baths and lay in bed and cried for several days. That's all I did. It's overwhelming.

And then something shifts and you start smiling again.

So sorry you're going through this sweetie 

Thanks all.  Have to say... . if tears somehow made it better I would have been better a long time ago. 

I met him almost two years ago.  I have cried rivers of tears.  I know our relationship is toxic.  I know he did me a favor by ending it.  I know all of this in my head.  It's my heart that's the problem.  I just can't seem to find my way out of this.  I consider myself to be a reasonably smart woman... . yet I went back to him "knowing" where I would probably end up once again.  Right where I am now. 

Sorry... . I usually do better than this. 

   

Emelie, my heart's with you.

I know how painful this feels as I've been there (for too long) myself.

Hang in there.  Hugs

TIL