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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD => Topic started by: Levi78 on June 02, 2014, 11:23:11 PM



Title: Interesting article about being NC with your mom
Post by: Levi78 on June 02, 2014, 11:23:11 PM
www.m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5417281


Title: Re: Interesting article about being NC with your mom
Post by: StarStruck on June 04, 2014, 10:00:12 AM
Thanks for taking time to stick link in  :)


Title: Re: Interesting article about being NC with your mom
Post by: Turkish on June 04, 2014, 12:19:11 PM
www.m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5417281

"'She's your mother; you'll want to reconnect someday.' The words are so universal I can't even point to a specific person who said them; it is all the world that tells me. Typically, I'm told I'll change my mind in one of two scenarios: if I have children, or when she is dying."

Thanks for sharing, Levi. The above is black and white thinking. I think we get the social construct and peer pressure. But as many in that comments section understand (and probably all members on this site), no one "gets" it unless they have been on the receiving end of abuse, those with similar experiences.

I remember that line from the movie The Crow: "Mother is the name of God in the lips and hearts of all children." (the original quote is from William Makepeace Thackery). To an innocent child, that is true, both good and bad: Loving God/Vengeful God/Detached Blind Watchmaker God, etc... .

Society creates a construct, and are we to blindly worship it? I was in church on Mother's Day, and they had a satirical video of two incompetent dads taking care of the kids while the mothers took off to a spa to be pampered. It implied that the dad's were incapable of taking care of the kids until they ordered magical "mommy goggles." I get that there are a lot of bad, absent, detached dads out there, but this triggered me. I all but scoffed at it, and refused to clap at the end, both holding my DDD in my arms and also playing with her next to me.

Most people don't "get" it. So we are left with processing it ourselves, and erecting strong internal barriers to try and not take such comments personally. Who is anyone else to tell me how to feel? Very invalidating.



Title: Re: Interesting article about being NC with your mom
Post by: Gowest on June 05, 2014, 01:30:08 AM
Society creates a construct, and are we to blindly worship it? I was in church on Mother's Day, and they had a satirical video of two incompetent dads taking care of the kids while the mothers took off to a spa to be pampered. It implied that the dad's were incapable of taking care of the kids until they ordered magical "mommy goggles." I get that there are a lot of bad, absent, detached dads out there, but this triggered me. I all but scoffed at it, and refused to clap at the end, both holding my DDD in my arms and also playing with her next to me.

I actually think you should complain to your priest or minister (or whichever title they use at your church) about this video and explain how it made you feel. Just completely inappropriate, and church is supposed to be a place where you feel welcome. Offtopic here but just reading this comment made me mad. Bad enough seeing "moms rule dads drool" crap posted by ignorant people on facebook, but in church? Bleh.