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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: PullToEject on June 04, 2014, 02:35:35 AM



Title: Strange Question - Service Dogs?
Post by: PullToEject on June 04, 2014, 02:35:35 AM
This is an odd question, but does anyone know if someone who suffers from BPD would function better with a "service" dog?  My ex-GF has a close bond with her little Yorkie, which I believe helps with her not being able to tolerate being alone, gets her out of the house to take him for walks, gives him a bath, etc.  I think having him with her would certainly help her get through new situations that provoke her anxiety. 

He is 6 lbs, doesn't shed, and makes little messes.  A larger higher maintenance dog would not be a good thing for her.  But on the whole, I think having her Yorkie is a huge positive. 

Anyone else experience something similar?


Title: Re: Strange Question - Service Dogs?
Post by: itgirl on June 04, 2014, 05:47:41 AM
My uBPDgf is exactly the same.  She has two yorkies which she loves more than anything in the world.  They take care of her just as much as she takes care of them.  When we were on a break (recycle) she lived a thousand miles away from me and I believe they helped her greatly.  Just like you said though they are small and don't shed and are easy to take care of.  A big dog is a no no for her.  I know this as I have one.

So yes, I believe it will help, but then again... . which person will not benefit from a service dog.  :)


Title: Re: Strange Question - Service Dogs?
Post by: Livestrong97 on June 04, 2014, 06:29:28 AM
We have always had dogs and my udBPDh finds them to be a very important part of his life and he takes great care of them.  He LOVES the unconditional love they give him and the greeting he gets when he walks in the door.  Nightly he gets excercise and relief from stress by walking them for an hour rain or shine.  If we've been in a fight, he takes the walk and comes home either remorseful, apologetic or at the minimum much calmer.  I definitely recommend dogs for BPD. 


Title: Re: Strange Question - Service Dogs?
Post by: waverider on June 04, 2014, 06:55:11 AM
One of the issues pwBPD have with dealing with people is fear of criticism and being judged. Unless they are psychotic they wont fear this from a dog and so will feel comfort in their presence. Though this is not a golden rule as responsibility for something else could cause issues.


Title: Re: Strange Question - Service Dogs?
Post by: ydrys017 on June 04, 2014, 12:38:58 PM
One of the issues pwBPD have with dealing with people is fear of criticism and being judged... . as responsibility for something else could cause issues.

Could you expound on the responsibility theme a little more?  That concept really resonates with my experience with uBPDw... .


Title: Re: Strange Question - Service Dogs?
Post by: maxsterling on June 04, 2014, 01:37:59 PM
Interesting thought.  My GF seems to feel relief when holding her guinea pig.  I've often wondered if she had a little carrier to carry the guinea pig around with her if her days would feel less anxious.   She periodically mentions wanting a dog.  Her reasoning is that if she had a dog she would have a reason to go for a walk.  But my experience warns me that her desire to walk the dog would end in a few weeks, and all the dog responsibilities would then be on me. 


Title: Re: Strange Question - Service Dogs?
Post by: waverider on June 04, 2014, 10:04:19 PM
One of the issues pwBPD have with dealing with people is fear of criticism and being judged... . as responsibility for something else could cause issues.

Could you expound on the responsibility theme a little more?  That concept really resonates with my experience with uBPDw... .

pretty much as maxsterling raises, if a dog needs a walk and they dont feel like it, then they wont. If it them poops on the carpet, they need someone else to blame. There is no one so the dog becomes a source of stress not relaxation. They might not feel like shopping for dog food when they run out "someone" needs to have made sure they didn't run out. Who to blame...

pwBPD often just do want then feel like/impulse, whereas responsibility/obligations/unpraised chores are not high on their list of motivators.


Title: Re: Strange Question - Service Dogs?
Post by: Aussie JJ on June 05, 2014, 07:48:22 AM
Well,

My exBPD raised 2 guide dog puppies, let them go without any problem.  Did very well both of them passed.  Gave her structure?  I cant explain it. 

Got a dog of our own and idolised the almighty out of it.  When our son came along poor dog was the devil and one day she had it put down when I was at work. 

I cant explain this now, I am still angry about not having a choice in this.  Such is life for BPD :S. 


Title: Re: Strange Question - Service Dogs?
Post by: maxsterling on June 05, 2014, 10:53:02 AM
Waverider - I hear ya.  I mentioned how the guinea pig seems to cheer her up.  But she stresses over cleaning the cage.  And we had to take her to the vet because of a lice/mite problem, and now she is stressed over potentially having to take her to the vet again and pay another 70 bucks. 

She likes the cat half the time, but the other half the time she is saying the cat is annoying.  She has never once fed the cat or cleaned the litter box in the year she has been with me.  And to think one of the reasons I was initially attracted to her is because she told me a story of a cat she had and loved for years whom she cared for when he got cancer. 


Title: Re: Strange Question - Service Dogs?
Post by: ydrys017 on June 05, 2014, 12:32:03 PM
I understand - your explanations make perfect (illogical) sense, thus my confusion regarding my uBPDw running from responsibility doesn't make me crazy after all... .   Sigh... .


Title: Re: Strange Question - Service Dogs?
Post by: PullToEject on June 12, 2014, 01:33:29 AM
Thank you all for your input and I apologize for the delay in responding to my own post.  I agree with most everything that was said - my ex-BPDGF has the advantage of having a son that lives with her that will pick up her slack when she is depressed or otherwise unmotivated.  I also tell her frequently that she doesn't have to do anything, but she can't do nothing.  Even if all she did all day was take her Yorkie for a walk or give him a bath.  He loves his baths and it is hard not to feel good seeing him run around afterwards.