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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: AllisG on June 04, 2014, 11:58:56 AM



Title: he refuses to pay our rent
Post by: AllisG on June 04, 2014, 11:58:56 AM
My bf is working overseas until July. 

We have an apt. together tho.  He takes care of the rent, I take care of everything else.  This was our agreement. 

Until he decided today, the day before rent is due that he doesn't feel it's appropriate given we've been having problems lately and our future is uncertain. 

Well, there is no possible way I can come up with the rent money.  I was laid off and have been working temp jobs for the past two months and have a child to support as well (not his child).

I am so angry with him right now.


Title: Re: he refuses to pay our rent
Post by: momtara on June 04, 2014, 12:09:55 PM
Are your names both on the lease?  He'd be responsible too, then.

He said that to hurt you - he may change his mind after he cools down.  Or maybe he can pay art of it if you appeal to his good nature.  But that will mean a boundary is lowered and he'll keep paying less.


Title: Re: he refuses to pay our rent
Post by: AllisG on June 04, 2014, 12:32:07 PM
Now he keeps asking what I would do in his situation.

He always tries to back me into a corner.  Like if I don't say we'll stay together he'll not pay rent.

Yes, his name is on the lease as well.  I doubt he cares.


Title: Re: he refuses to pay our rent
Post by: momtara on June 04, 2014, 01:04:07 PM
So, say you'd honor your obligations!  At least get one more month out of him... .


Title: Re: he refuses to pay our rent
Post by: AllisG on June 04, 2014, 02:29:29 PM
That's exactly what I said.

And reminded him I've kept my committments to him.

He then tried to turn it around on me.

I then told him that he could pay landlord this month, I'll get his name off the lease, and take care of it myself.

He took this to mean I don't love or care about me.

So I responded:  I do care about you.  However you're telling me that I can't depend on you.  My son is my first concern and my son depends on me.  I can't wonder if we'll have a place to live every month. 

And that in order to pay for all the bills and be able to eat that I'll have to get another job, put my son in daycare (another expense), and also quit my nanny job leaving the people I nanny for in the position of finding other arrangements on short notice.

It is has nothing to do with my feelings for you.  It's the reality of the situation.

His response:  I don't want to talk anymore.  Click.


Title: Re: he refuses to pay our rent
Post by: momtara on June 04, 2014, 03:42:05 PM
Hmmm, you reasoned very well.