BPDFamily.com

I'm leaving my boyfriend soon to spend a few months apart, to see how we both feel about the relationship. All the necessary plans have been made, I've lined up a place to live for a few months - and now he's changed his mind and expects me to cancel it all!

In a way I half expected this to happen, knowing what he's like. But I went through with arranging it all anyway, because I can't continue in this relationship any more the way things are. We're at a dead end. We had both agreed on the plan; where I'd go, for roughly how long, etc. But now he's saying that he never agreed to it.

To be honest I'm becoming a bit concerned for my safety, and I don't know if I'm right to be concerned or not. Sometimes it really seems like he's accepted that I'm going, and he acts very adult about it all. Then other times he gets angry about it and asks me repeatedly "are you going to cancel?" When I say no, it's like he goes into a state of mind where he's trying to get revenge on me for leaving. At one point he actually said he thought I was only doing it to annoy him! He's never, ever physically abused me; his abuse has always been verbal/emotional. But sometimes I wonder if he was provoked enough, would he... . ?

I'm not sure how best to handle these next couple of weeks until I leave. Despite the difficult times we've had together (there have been plenty of those), I still really care for him, and it concerns me to see him in this state for his own good as well as mine. I realise he's panicking about it all, and I'm trying my best not to trigger him further in any way. But I don't know if this will be enough.  I moved overseas to be with him, and I don't have anyone I can stay with locally until it's time to leave.