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Title: How do I word this? Post by: momtara on June 07, 2014, 03:41:49 PM Been divorced since Dec. ExH keeps wanting to come hang out on weekends, saying he misses the kids. I let it happen a few times, esp when he couldn't do his visitation. Now he is asking every weekend.
He sent me a one-line email asking to come visit tomorrow. How do I politely say no? I was working with this: "I would prefer that you not. The grandparents are coming and ... . " And I just didn't know how to finish. Keep in mind that we don't have an awful relationship but he DOES push for me to take him back so I have to be careful how I word things and keep my boundaries up. And yes, maybe it was a mistake to let him hang out at all. That said, how do I word my reply? Title: Re: How do I word this? Post by: livednlearned on June 07, 2014, 04:17:56 PM With people who trample boundaries as a matter of course, it's best to not explain. That gives them something to work with.
"No" is a boundary. "No, we have other plans" is somewhat more polite, although gives him something specific to try and wedge the door open. "What plans?" "No, not this weekend" is a boundary for this weekend, but tells him he can keep trying. You don't have to answer his calls, emails, or texts if he tries to challenge the boundary. Title: Re: How do I word this? Post by: david on June 07, 2014, 10:29:58 PM I would go with a simple no.
Title: Re: How do I word this? Post by: momtara on June 08, 2014, 12:57:31 AM Good advice.
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