BPDFamily.com

Short background:

My wife left me after about 3 months of marriage, replaced me within 2 weeks with a guy she barely knew.

Don't have to explain how that felt and how I am am doing.

She initiated NC, coldly and unemotionaly cut me out. I thought she must have painted me black, but it seems she didn't.

It is a bit more complicated than that, but I think I posted about it in in the shower thoughts thread.

Anyways. I sent her the birthday card and I got a text message from her saying "thank you for my birthday card, it is awesome."

A bit of a weird reply, but that is not the point.

I I thought that no reply or actually any reply for that matter would hurt. But it didn't. I kind kind of accepted the weirdness of the reply (wasn't mean or cold, although unemotional) and I thought that "hey, not painted black after all."  Which was a huge deal for me to find a bit of peace.

She blocked me on fb, but I saw photos of her from time to time. Didn't really bother me.

But this morning I saw a photo of her and an older couple at the beach, nice sunset photo.

The couple was at our marriage, too.

This photo kind of evoked negative feelings in me. I don't understand why. Not even the photos of her and her replacement made me feel that way. It's really weird.

Maybe it's the location of this picture that makes you feel this way. Like she's at the beach (a nice place) without you or something like that?

My wife left me too, I feel for you it sucks. Did your wife at least give you a reason? Mine called me the devil, admitted she was  selfish and then disappeared with everything.

Left me twice. First time with a very mature and actually kind of caring letter. Then we slipped back into being together within a week (wouldn't consider it a recycle considering the letter.)

Then I left for Europe to give her space while visiting my parents.

Got cheated on and replaced.

You should should find it in one of the last threads I posted on,

Shower thoughts

yes, that is a weird reply. lol

she probably thought it would be mean not to reply.  At the same time You gave her NS by giving her that card.  I don't know if she is sentimental or not but if she is it probably means more to her than she expresses.  In any case they don't want you to forget them and she may actually be trying to be fair by her current SO.  Regardless of any logic to how she strung you along in the past. The question is in the future would you accept to be strung along by her again?

To be honest, knowing her,  I don't really think she is stringing me along or trying  anything with her reply. I think it's just that... .   A thank you. Event though weird (but that might be because it means more and she couldn't find a way to be "distant"  yet nice without sounding weird.)

I was actually a bit astound to even get a reply. I thought she had painted me black. Also she is a very straight person... . Maybe even too straight by my my standards. If she makes a decision she sticks with it. Never backs out.

Btw. What is NS and SO?

actually it it would help me find peace, knowing that she didn't paint me black. But that the initial break breakup letter letter was what I believe it was.

I sometimes get bothered thinking about my ex still being friends with people that I introduced her to that I feel she's fooled into thinking she's a wonderful person. I think it's because subconsciously it triggers weird thoughts like "if they were actually my friends they'd realize what she is and how much pain she caused me and reject her", but that's not healthy or useful since she doesn't get close enough to people for them to see the bad parts. She just comes off as fun and energetic. I just trust that she is who she is when it comes to true friendships and that she's likely only a surface friend, and it reminds me to be a better friend to them myself.