BPDFamily.com

It's been just over a year since my BPD exgf and I broke up, and 3 months since she started no contact. Most days, I think I'm getting better; my attitude is overwhelmingly that I'm so much better without her, and I can't believe I stayed as long as I did. But then something will happen, and I'll be drawn right back into it--- all the feelings just come flooding back. Today, she sent me a text out of the blue; we shared a storage unit for a long time, and she apparently just cleared it out and found a few things I missed when I moved my stuff out. This is the first time I've heard from her since she initiated NC, and it's sent me spinning. All day, I've been trying to get out of this overwhelming depression that I can only assume is resultant from her contact. I have not responded to her message; I don't even want to think about seeing her again, though I'd like my stuff. How long did it take others to stop feeling this way?

Greetings.  My dBPDxw and I were together 7 years total.  When she left  we stayed in contact on and off for a few months (she moved away) and mostly because she was scared and lonely.  Once she began a new romantic relationship however, I received a really nasty and quite disgusting email.  Instead of hurting me more, it made me realize it was good the relationship was done.  

Overall, it took me about a year to really seem grounded and not dwell on what she "might be doing".  As with any long-term relationship, it does take time. 

In the end we each do what we need for ourselves.  bpdfamily.com helps us with the realization that we were in a dysfunctional relationship, that had moments of good and a lot of bad.  How we process all this information and how long it takes, is really a personal thing.  Whatever works for you in helping you to regain your life, is really what matters.

Peace to you