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I feel like i take 2 steps forward and 1 step back i will go threw a week or two feeling depressed and just in a black hole but then when i come out of it i feel begter than ever almost so i happy i wouldnt change that for the world every time the bad part comes on its less severe than the last but the good will be even better if that makes sence so i guess does it come in waves till ur fully healed am i on the right path cause everytime i feel blue i feel im getting lost in the path

I think this is 100% normal. Lots of other members have described the bad days that hit them during recovery. I personally know that when I started getting better after an abusive relationship, when I started to feel happy again I was just SO happy, because I was recovering... . I felt great. I still do, really, I'm so grateful to be moving on.

 so yeah, I'll say just keep going.

Thank you red sky its been a long 3 months but i feel much better but i do go threw moments of lonlyness sadness and depression i just want to be whole again i remember how i felt pre r/s and at the beggining i miss that me so much wondering if he will ever come back

i am also three months NC now and yes it gets better but still through the process. my r\s lasted only for 6 weeks but still i believe it should take whatever long it takes as long as i can see that i am progressing forward overall though the bad days still come.

Thanks antony i know time heals all wounds but first heartbreak and it has to be a BPD lol

i know its tough. i have been in a couple of relationships before the BPD one. trust me the BPD one was the hardest concerning the break up and the moving on thing. before totally understanding about BPD i was astonished at myself for lingering for a 6 weeks old relationship ! thats not me at all regarding breaking up in a normal relationship

What I will say is that I have learnt a lot about living well (10mths NC from NPDexbf). I've learnt about grabbing all the happiness I can and actively pursuing opportunities. It might be a hard way to learn not to take things for granted but there are a lot of good days where I can feel proud of the happiness I have built... . I think you are right that the bad days get less but the good days stay :)

It is definitely normal.  2 steps forward and one step back is still moving forward!  2-1+2-1+2-1=3... . since starting at 0.  Everyone has their good days and bad days.  When the bad outnumber the good... . that's when things can get bad very fast.

Here's what I did when I was having a tough time (I still do it now, just not as often as I should).  I bought a journal, and each day, first thing in the morning, I'd write 10 things that I was thankful for, trying not to repeat the same items on the list.  It started out as the normal... . family, job, friends, etc.  But then it started getting more interesting.  I started to think about all the people and generations who came before us to make our lives easier. I would thank the person that invented a power saw.  There's no telling how long it used to take to build a house before.  I'd thank the person that invented the washing machine.  Then I started thinking about electricity... . and I was thankful for Nikola Tesla, Edison, Franklin.  I thanked Henry Ford... . I thanked the security guard in the building I work in.  I even thanked American Express for providing their services to me.

The act of writing it down does something... . energetically, supernaturally, emotionally - I don't know - but it just "puts it out there"... . and it's better than us just thinking it.  The more creative you get, the more appreciative you subconciously become.  The more appreciative you become - the more positive your outlook, and people see that - they recognize it... . and they are attracted to it.  It makes you see the world in a different light... . trust me!  Try it for yourself and see if you can recognize a change after a little bit.

Thanks everyone for your support