BPDFamily.com

What is a girl to do?

Dedicated years to family and husband.

Kids are grown, she was persuing career but (uBpd) husband feels neglected!

He moves out, cuts off financial support, and her job brings in little income and insufficient benefits. (They depended on his income and excellent benefits for decades)

She's blindsided! Doesn't know what to do or where to start. It's all overwhelming.

Has anyone been through something similar?

What would you suggest?

Most courts understand such situations and make provision for at least some short term support during and immediately after the divorce.  It's isn't Cold Turkey regarding support.  Some states specify more support than others.  Depending on the length of the marriage and other factors, alimony is often long enough for the disadvantaged spouse to get a couple years of career training, schooling, certification or diplomas, sometimes up to half the length of the marriage.

In my area it was only 2 months for every year of marriage, so I paid alimony for 3 years.

Where are you in the separation or divorce process?  Usually the court doesn't like when a case starts and the income earner cuts off the other spouse.  If you've just separated and are at the very start of a divorce, then the temporary order at the first hearing should resolve some of your concerns. But you do have to stand up for yourself.  If ex claims, "She has plenty of money, etc and doesn't need any support!" and you are silent, then don't be surprised if you walk out with nothing or next to nothing.  Court may not stand up for you, that's something you have to ensure for yourself!

During a divorce the spouse that was a stay at home spouse is usually entitled to alimony pende lite. That only happens before the divorce. The purpose is to put both parties on a somewhat equal footing.

After the divorce there is alimony. Each state calculates that differently. I live in Pa and I believe you take the number of years married and divide that by 3. That is the total number of years of alimony. The purpose is to get the stay at home spouse time to get on their feet.

You need to talk to an attorney.

Thank you for the responses. This isn't happening to me but to a close friend who has been thrown off balance and has no idea where to start. She put her life on hold for him & the family and is at a terrible disadvantage. I didn't know what to say or how to help (in practical ways--I can handle being emotionally supportive to her.) This was the first place I thought of for help.

Thank you