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Title: Proud of myself :-) Post by: GuiltHaunted on June 14, 2014, 10:06:46 AM Yesterday I ran into an old acquaintance. He was a friend of my uexBPDgf and is also a colleague of mine, but someone I rarely see. The last few times I met him (at least 6 months ago last time), he had been asking if I heard from my ex. She pretty much cut contact with everyone after she broke up with me - probably busy mirroring the replacement and assuming a new identity. lol
Anyway, yesterday I met him again and after the normal polite exchanges he went on "I talked on the phone with xxx, and she is doing ok... . ". I didn't let him continue, but broke him off with "I don't want to hear anything about her!". So he stopped and the conversation ended as he had to leave anyway. I feel proud of myself, because it would have been easy to start pumping him for knowledge about her - but I didn't. If she resumed contact with him, I am pretty sure this will probably find it's way back to her too, which I am quite satisfied about. Also, it didn't trigger me the least bit. :) So to everyone out there, have faith. I does get easier. I am 6 month NC and there is a girl that I am really interested in and I hope and prey it will move forward with her. If I could choose to have her or my ex in my life right now, I would definitely choose the new girl I am interested in. Title: Re: Proud of myself :-) Post by: Littleleft on June 14, 2014, 10:55:45 AM |iiii glad to hear you managed to avoid engaging in a conversation about what she's up to, I'm sure you did yourself a big favour there!
Title: Re: Proud of myself :-) Post by: GuiltHaunted on June 14, 2014, 12:25:21 PM Yes, I am too pretty sure it wouldn't have lead to anything positive. But it was funny, as there was like an inner voice saying "stopppp!" I guess this must be what detaching feels like. :)
Title: Re: Proud of myself :-) Post by: Littleleft on June 14, 2014, 12:31:43 PM Fantastic!
I suppose whilst in r/s's with people with BPD we tend to start ignoring our inner voice or intuition because it has told us we should leave the r/s when didn't want to hear or admit it. I've recently realised that I've been ignoring mine for a long time. It's been telling me what I should really do, but I haven't been willing to listen to it. I now know that it's a stupid thing to do to ignore that inner voice, and I'm certainly going to be taking that away from the r/s as a learning point. Sounds like you started to hear yours again which is great news! |iiii |