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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: manicmuse on June 15, 2014, 06:20:50 AM



Title: My Grandchildren
Post by: manicmuse on June 15, 2014, 06:20:50 AM
Well we have only a little over a week until court. These past 2 months all that keeps replaying in my mind is those little girls begging me not to send them home.

I didn't know my rights or theirs and I could have kept them and called the Police, I feel like I let them down that day. Im so afraid of letting them down again. Please pray for us all, that the court sees what we see and truly finds a way to help them.


Title: Re: My Grandchildren
Post by: catnap on June 15, 2014, 10:58:33 AM
You didn't know, manicmuse, but now you have more knowledge and are taking steps to help your grandchildren.  It has got to be very, very hard on you to go up against your daughter in court, but necessary to give your grandchildren a normal life. 

I hope the Judge does see it your way and lets their Mom only see them in a supervised setting.  I hope that you are able to get them into therapy to deal with all they have been through. 

Do prepare yourself though to finish raising these children.  Their Mom (from your previous posts) doesn't seem capable of making a change to be a proper parent. 


Title: Re: My Grandchildren
Post by: livednlearned on June 15, 2014, 01:37:30 PM
Well we have only a little over a week until court. These past 2 months all that keeps replaying in my mind is those little girls begging me not to send them home.

I didn't know my rights or theirs and I could have kept them and called the Police, I feel like I let them down that day. Im so afraid of letting them down again. Please pray for us all, that the court sees what we see and truly finds a way to help them.

You can always ask people here -- this is a great board if you have questions about how things work. No one here can give you legal advice, but there are a lot of veterans of custody battles who have been through the court process, and can give you ideas about what's possible, things to ask a lawyer, what you can file to protect the kids, even if you're the grand parent.

I hope things work out for you and your grandchildren. They've been through a lot. Are they in counseling? Especially the older one who was abused and tied up... .

Do you have the same judge you had when you were initially awarded custody, or is this a new judge?



Title: Re: My Grandchildren
Post by: manicmuse on June 16, 2014, 07:12:25 AM
ThisJudge is actually the one who awarded her custody 4 yrs ago. What she did since DYFS wouldnt sanction her having them, was she went there when I went away and got emergency custody. She said terrible things of course and never mentioned DYFS.

When I found out, I went and pleaded with him, I said shes NOT RIGHT, and he said YES theyd have a better life with you but shes their natural mother. But then he also said IF I could prove her Illness hed reconsider, since then, she has been diagnosed.

I continued to try and help them work it out, I really dont want the children to go thru more than they already have, but at this point they are truly in danger. I just pray he sees that.

Also In NJ there is a precedent that you can be a psychological parent and have the same footing, as the natural parent, I fit all 4 of the qualifications ...

I do not enjoy going against my daughter, but I truly believe after all ive done to help her, shed hurt me if it meant money, or anything she wanted. SHes that dangerous, if she can do that to the one person whos always been there no matter what, what will she do when they are teens?

Im only 50 I have plenty of spunk left to help these children, ANd I love them... Ive probobly done more for them in the past 2 months than she has their entire lives, thats what my SIL said the other day.

ANd YES I have learned so much reading here in this thread.



Title: Re: My Grandchildren
Post by: manicmuse on June 16, 2014, 07:18:04 AM
The oldest was in therapy for the abuse, they gave her about 3 months of therapy, and then sleeping pills, she cannot sleep in that house, and that was dyfs answer. She reported to me my daughter gave them to her once and then she didnt know what happened to them,

I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED...

Youd think that alone would be enough to take them out.


Title: Re: My Grandchildren
Post by: catnap on June 16, 2014, 12:33:36 PM
I loved this: 
Excerpt
Im only 50 I have plenty of spunk left to help these children, ANd I love them... Ive probobly done more for them in the past 2 months than she has their entire lives, thats what my SIL said the other day.

Your SIL was right.