BPDFamily.com

My bf with BPD and I just broke up.

He was being very verbally abuse to me again, but this time much worse.

He is still working out of town and we were chatting via fb messenger.

I can't do it anymore.  I just can't live my life this way.  I have a son from a previous marriage and I can't have him exposed to it either.

But now I'm very scared.  He's behaving very irrationally and making veiled threats.  I haven't been responding but I have been taking screen shots.  Also someone, as I type this, is trying to hack my email and Facebook accounts.

He won't be back in town for awhile.  I still fear what he'll try to do until then as I am

Sure it's no coincidence someone is trying to access my accounts moments after our break up.

I am also scared that he'll not pay our rent for July as he promised, as he has threatened this before. 

He doesn't live here yet but it was the plan for when he came back.  He asked me to not work full time so I nanny. He agreed to pay rent,  I pay utilities, internet, groceries, and my phone bill.  There's no way I'll make rent for July even if I get a job tomorrow.  I'll have nowhere else to go.

More than that I am very fearful for what he will do when he comes back.  He has displayed some very stalkerish behavior in the past.  He has also insinuated in the past what he would do if I left him.  Not good things.  He's very obsessive and very possessive of me.  I am not sure what he's really capable of.  I'm very, very frightened about this.  I feel sick to my stomach and have no idea what I should do.   

Ok sweetie, take a deep breath... . And let it out slowly. Do this 6 times... .

Now bottom line, you can't control what he's going to do. You can just plan for your own safety. This is a knee jerk reaction to the breakup. It may not get as bad as you're thinking it will. So try not to stress but put some plans into place. Does he have a key to your property? If so change the locks now before he gets back. Have you got somewhere you can go if u need to leave quickly? Plan that out with a friend or family member.

As for him hacking your Internet stuff, change your passwords now, and deactivate FB for a while if you are on it. Put police number into your phone and carry your phone with you at all times. Block him on your phone if you can, but if you can't DO NOT RESPOND, not to any message.

I've just been through similar worries with my exBPD and put plans into place. He was acting erratic and abusing my family members. I told them not to respond to anything. I keep my door deadlocked. He came to the door last week but I wasn't home. Nothing since. Know that if he's got BPD he will go on a smearing campaign now. He will paint you black to mutual friends so alert them of the breakup and ask them not to respond to him. If you're not on FB anymore he will see he can't get to you that way so he may not even bother trying.

I don't know what you can do about your rent. Is it possible to borrow money from family or friends if he doesn't pay it? Don't ask him for it. Don't speak to him at all. Maybe you can talk to the landlord if he doesn't pay the rent? And ask for an extension.

Can you get any government assistance until you get a job?

Things feel overwhelming now, and you're on high alert. Try not to think the worst but prepare for it. In my situation everything I could do to stay off his radar I did. My ex was interstate for the first couple months after our split so by the time he returned we'd already had NC for 3 months, and everything had defused a bit. I lost a lot of sleep worrying but it's all been fine.

Don't answer the door when he comes back. After he leaves just send him one text saying "its over and please don't contact me again"

Peace sweetie. You are in my thoughts 

I'm so sorry things are so difficult and scary for you at the moment.  I completely understand how you are feeling. I've just broken up with my BPDexbf this weekend following some dysregulation that involved the police, and although he's living with his family since I am concerned over what might happen from now on.

Everything Narellan says sounds like great advice to me.