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Title: a thought that delay my healing Post by: antjs on June 18, 2014, 08:31:40 AM i am detaching very well but only one problem. questioning her diagnosis and behavior. her behavior was obviously bad. the relationship was very short and intense. it started only one month after she broke up with her latest ex before me. the relationship went really super fast as in i moved in with her only after one week. 2 weeks of idealization, even during this period she began Triangulation (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=121673.0) with her ex and met him claiming that he does not get it and she should go and speak to him and make it clear that this is over (projection ?) then devaluation of 2 weeks with more of meeting him in hotels and suddenly he is that "special friend" and another time he is travelling for some time and need to say goodbye to him... . in hotels. btw she is in contact with every ex of hers. even her ex-husband who is 50 years old and she is only 29 (btw all her exs are that old... daddy issues) she travelled with him for "vacation" one year ago (before i met her) and they have been divorced for 3 years now (recycle?)
sometimes, i question her diagnosis and i say maybe i was just a rebound and that she is not that awful. maybe she was just depressed. but i then say if i was rebound there would have not been emotional abuse. she would have let me go when i broke up with and did not attempt to recycle with me the next day and use sex to lure me back in (recycle lasted for a week with more abuse and manipulation) i think rebounds are more humane than this. abuse is abuse. maybe these doubts are there because the relationship was so short. it is as if i am asking for more abuse to prove it to myself. even my therapist confirmed to me that she is BPD based up on her relationships' history and her behavior with me. do anyone who have been in a very short relationship with a BPD feel the same ? Title: Re: a thought that delay my healing Post by: foiles on June 18, 2014, 06:46:55 PM Whether the relationship was short or long, many of us have questioned whether they were or weren't BPD. Their illness is projected on to you. It really doesn't matter. You know what happened. The key is figuring out ourselves how not to repeat it.
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