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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: BPD_NYY on June 19, 2014, 07:32:46 PM



Title: Telling her goodbye
Post by: BPD_NYY on June 19, 2014, 07:32:46 PM
Well. It's been a process with many meetings with T. Many losses of family, friends, and respect of myself. The road starts tomorrow. I finally hit the bottom. Finally recognized how bad I had let things get.

Tonight I tell her its over.


Title: Re: Telling her goodbye
Post by: Veronykah on June 19, 2014, 09:26:45 PM
Wishing you all the best luck. Unfortunately, you, I and everyone else know now she will bring out the big guns. Either the super nice ones or the super horrible ones.

Stay strong. I'm rooting for you.


Title: Re: Telling her goodbye
Post by: myself on June 19, 2014, 10:38:04 PM
Thank you for reaching out. This is a trustworthy place to talk about what you're going through. Post. Ask questions. Many of us have felt and been alone in what we're facing, but here we're not. We have each other. The best way I've found to regain self respect is to pick myself up and keep going. My bottom line was walking away from the toxic relationship I was in. It was also a new beginning. I saw light right from the start. Light I knew was there all along, but it took breaking my own patterns to be able to accept it. It was a difficult choice to make, but the one that makes most sense. Sorry you've come to a similar decision, but also, Congratulations. A new chapter, with less 'bad things', is now yours.


Title: Re: Telling her goodbye
Post by: BPD_NYY on June 20, 2014, 07:15:16 AM
Despite my attempts at being concise, clear, and not accusation she still proves she has a highly sharpened arsenal of tools. Each word (which is why being concise) provides her another crack in the wall to try to pry at.

NC is clearly in the future as a means to manage the situation. Continuing to communicate clear and simple boundaries and making appropriate plans to keep myself busy focusing on things I enjoy doing.


Title: Re: Telling her goodbye
Post by: Lucky Jim on June 20, 2014, 11:15:31 AM
Hey BPD/NYY, I suspect you will find yourself going around in circles in your discussions with her.  Be concise and let her know its over.  Get on with it!  Relationships with family and friends can be rebuilt, but not until you make the break from your pwBPD.  Good luck, LJ