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Title: Making concrete step to separation Post by: half-life on June 25, 2014, 02:42:11 AM I wrote some long winding story about my past disappointment, frustration and how I was constantly undermined by her.
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=227295.0 (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=227295.0) https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=227430.0 (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=227430.0) Now it brings to the present time. I am looking for a new house for me and my kids. I haven't told her yet. Wife and kids are out of town visiting her family as they have done in the past. Sometime I go along, sometimes I don't. I won't say I don't enjoy a quiet time by myself. But just because she is away does not mean I will have peace. We have phone call daily and sometimes things can get ugly and she get mad and just hang up on me. It does not happen this time though. These few weeks are actually quiet. I have muddle through this marriage for 15 years. We would had big fight. Then things would quiet down and I return to the routine and put off making any change. Then the next big fight happens and the cycle repeats. Right now it is not at all an infuriating time. It is easy to just carry on as usual. But I will detest myself if I let this continues. I went out to look for houses by myself. I hate to do this on her back as if I am scheming. On the other hand I feel such freedom in a long time. It is so much easier to do things without the harsh critic on my back. I feel more alive to really try to plan for the future. My next test will be to actual confront her. I am think of writing a letter. I want to express myself authentically without unnecessary triggering her. Looking for house is a big challenge itself because I live in an expensive urban market. I feel outright paralyzing knowing how competitive the market is. And I have to deal with this by myself. Of course if my wife were here it would not be of any help. It will only make things 10 times more difficult. I need to have faith in myself in time I will have these all sorted out and this will lead to the rebirth of my life at last. Title: Re: Making concrete step to separation Post by: razemarie on June 25, 2014, 10:04:14 AM I'm afraid I don't have any answers or advice for you, but wanted to let you know you are not alone! I recently left my 8 year relationship with uBPDexbf and am in the process of finding a place for me and my three year old son. It's scary to be on your own, but the freedom you gain is definitely worth it. I am three months out of the relationship and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. Best of luck to you in finding a new place!
Title: Re: Making concrete step to separation Post by: half-life on June 25, 2014, 12:05:25 PM Thank you. Sharing and moral support would be big help for me. I would heard something from real estate people today. Keep my finger crossed.
Title: Re: Making concrete step to separation Post by: razemarie on June 26, 2014, 09:08:18 PM My fingers are crossed that you will find a great place and can begin the path of healing. Keep us posted!
Title: Re: Making concrete step to separation Post by: GaGrl on June 26, 2014, 09:40:07 PM I would suggest posting on the Leaving board or, if you need advice on the intricacies and legalities of separating, on the Legal board.
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