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So i went through a different kind of recycle. I didn't get recycled as a boyfriend, but I got brought back in as a friend/one time lover. This all started a month ago, when she apologized for everything. I thought I could keep my emotional distance, but somehow I underestimated how ___ty it is to have any kind of relationship with a pwBPD.

One day I was the best thing in the world, while I would never let it develop into any kind of actual committed relationship.

Another day I refuse to loan her an excessive amount of money without a contract, and I'm not even worth responding to anymore.

Everyone on here warned me, but I just put my blinders on and charged in. I just feel so damaged all over again and it's affecting my relationships with other people again. All I want is a group of close friends, but after a traumatic relationship with a pwBPD, that seems impossible.

Hey Doc:

Hang in there.  It happens.  The important thing is that you're back on the board and shared honestly.  It's painful to relapse.  In fact, it's not like we can take a break, get strong reengage and still be strong. 

It's more like, we end up where we would have been had we never left in the first place.  Which sucks.  I felt like everything I worked on was lost.

But it wasn't.  I have more tools and I was more able to look at myself.  And I was finally able to say... . NO MORE!

I hope you find what you need to recover.

We're here.  We understand,

T

Hi there drxap

Im sorry that you just went through this and feel damaged all over again.  Like Tausk says, it happens and it is important that you shared this and honestly. 

Ive quoted this before from another poster as well  but it helped me when i felt like I was spiraling down again

And if you slip, get back on the horse immediately, two steps forward and one back is still forward.

something about this really helped me.

hope it does for you

here for you !