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I know its silly, but I want my wife back. To hold and love. But I now know its crazy thinking. Maybe to the outside world she seems fine. This is ripping me up inside.

I hear you.

Weve all been there and all know the pain your going through. Its hard. so hard that you never think it will ever get any easier.

It does though. You just have to take it one day at a time.

I'm sorry you are missing your wife and you are hurting inside   I would like to echo enlighten me's sentiments, we all know the pain you are going through.


Hang in there peiper

- Mutt

I understan how you feel. But rememer this will pass. There will come a day when you will be free and you would never take her back. I didn't think this would happen but gradually life gets better and you start to feel different. 

Peiper, hang in there.  I know this feeling so well.  To me it felt like a part of myself was physically ripped out of my body.

But we're built to heal.  This is our nature.  We grow scars and we move on, smarter and stronger.

I know how it feels, man.  That emptiness is a killer, but it passes.  You need to pass through it.  Running back to her won't fix anything, but you know that.  It's a cruel part of life, for sure.

It isn't silly at all.  As much as she angers me with all of the trauma she has caused me and my family, in some ways it would be nice to just wake up and have her be normal and have all the trauma and distrust and pain and suffering be gone.  Like a clean slate with a healthy her.  But it's a fantasy.  It isn't real.  And the longer I avoid reality, the longer I put off living my life.

They are your feelings, you deserve them. To feel and love is beautiful. They are yours and about you. How you feel about yourself and your relationship to others, past and present.

You are not empty, you have to find your deep feelings again and free them.

You have been emptied, it's time to discover and replenish your true self. This is not a nightclub, a new shirt, sex or alcohol, it is not pleasure, it is not a bad film, it is scary, it is the path back to yourself. You have been/are in a labyrinth, you are lost, only you can find yourself. It has been waiting for you to arrive.

Be strong and show yourself some love and understanding. Reveal yourself to yourself.

Treat yourself like a son or friend. Be brave and loving to yourself.

The lost get found.

Good Luck

Peiper,

I know for me when I have those moments it is a mix plain old loneliness and feelings or rejection and inadequacy.  What does her treating this way mean about me. Am I really that worthless? Maybe getting her back means I'm not worthless. I have had to look hard within myself to accept this is a big part of it. Have you explored the origins of your feelings?

Peace

Hey Peip:

I hope that you can feel your feelings and honor them.  It takes courage to feel difficult emotions.  There is no judgment of good or bad.  Just whether our responses to our emotions that count.  And one response is the feel them as best as we can so that we may process.  

But also remember HALT.  :)on't let ourselves get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.

We are here.  We understand.  I miss my ex at the root of my soul.  But I also recognize that as a strength and my feelings are a testimony to my character.

Hang in there.  Everyone on this Board understands.

Really we do.

T

Thanks T, at the moment Im so lonely Im not thinking right.

Yeah, I remember being doubled up in so much pain that my dogs were howling besides me.  It's painful.  But remember self care.

Be safe.  Be careful to make rational decision and avoid any impulsive decisions or actions.  Be careful about the alcohol intake (doesn't help). 

And if you can find friends or activities.  Hard workouts including cleaning the house never really hurt. 

Just Be It.

We are here,

T