|
Title: Hit Reset Button Act 2 Post by: wilsonian on July 01, 2014, 01:39:14 PM ok... this one didn't last as long as I thought it would... .You know the thing I really have a hard time understanding is for someone who 1/2 time hates me and 1/2 time loves me can still hold such jealousy in there head about me... I mean crazy type jealousy like all the way back to 1976-77... went down the road today and saw a ole buddies of mine car siting at his house... just made a comment Bill must be playing hooky today from work... well Bill is married to Nancy and has been since the early 80s and Nancy is like a gf of mine from 9th and 10th grade... .man next thing I know I am getting hammered and major verbal garbage about she didn't care where Nancy lived and why did I take her past her house(I was on way to Arbys to get her sandwich... Same street)then of course those famous words AND WHILE I'm THINKING OF IT... you did this and this and this wrong and do this wrong etc etc... .of course in the car... I am looking for a escape couldn't find one I am praying and pleading with her just to chill... got to me I raised my voice and said I don't deserve to be treated like this and she tells me I am acting crazy and I say something stupid like cuz my wife is making me that way... .You can just imagine the next 20 mins after that of the beat down I got verbally... .sorry had to vent... but does anyone else s BPD loved one have a major issue with letting go of things and being jealous of really stupid things... .or am I just blessed with that trait... ?
Title: Re: Hit Reset Button Act 2 Post by: Norrin Radd on July 01, 2014, 03:07:42 PM Nope you are not alone brother. Mine does it too. She gets mad at me for having sex with a girl BEFORE I met her even. Go figure!
I don't know how to deal with that one, other than use SET Check these out: COMMUNICATION: S.E.T. technique https://bpdfamily.com/content/ending-conflict (https://bpdfamily.com/content/ending-conflict) COMMUNICATION: Arguing - don't engage https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=106107.0 (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=106107.0) TOOLS: how to take a time out https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=84942.0 (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=84942.0) The best thing you can do for her though is to help her recognize she has a problem (SET should help). The best thing you can do for yourself within the relationship is to learn and employ the tools as much as possible. I am still struggling myself. Stay strong. Title: Re: Hit Reset Button Act 2 Post by: Norrin Radd on July 01, 2014, 03:11:41 PM Also recognize the reality of BPD and AVOID any trigger. Learn from this and avoid the trigger next time, which is mentioning anything to do with those people whom she dislikes. Don't mention it. If you go by there again, talk about something completely different and distract her from the fact of going by Bills house.
Title: Re: Hit Reset Button Act 2 Post by: matilda19 on July 01, 2014, 06:58:52 PM Also recognize the reality of BPD and AVOID any trigger. Learn from this and avoid the trigger next time, which is mentioning anything to do with those people whom she dislikes. Don't mention it. If you go by there again, talk about something completely different and distract her from the fact of going by Bills house. My BPDgf has so many triggers though and constantly biting my tongue is a hard thing to do. How do you have a normal relationship whilst constantly being on guard regarding what you talk about or what you say all of the time? It doesn't make sense. There are so many triggers that we can very rarely discuss many topics without her garnering some form of offense from the conversation. |