BPDFamily.com

I've been a naughty boy, decided to use another fb to see what was going on with my xBPD.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure her ex dumped her about 2 months after they got back together. So checking it out, there was messages on his statuses paragraphs long "I'd do anything for you, use up my emergency credit for you, I would listen to you talk when you feel bad, wouldn't care about what you said, just listening cos I love you" and "baby i like your new way of smiling" basically stuff like that, constant use of the word baby etc

No replies from him to her, just the odd like.

Is it her charming? I can't be sure, is she really that desperate to get back with him? Or are they together. I've been holding it together pretty well recently, but her friends came in my work today, and my colleague told me he'd seen her out and about, and it just brought it all flooding back. I've always been pretty open about it with everyone around me, even when we were together. It's also part of the way I discovered BPD. I just don't get it, why continually go back to this one lad? It's such confusion.

Maybe its narcissism? Maybe I've been strong cos I've felt I could get her back if I contacted her and thus I was able to stop myself, I know I'm rambling, it's late here and I'm pretty sure I'll be fine when I go to sleep and wake up tomorrow. But its raised so many questions - I mean literally - even BEFORE they had broken up, there she was telling me he abused her, that he practically raped her, and that she hates him and he controls her etc etc and that she loved me and wanted to be with me. Then boom she's gone, and by the time a month had passed she's back with him. Then she comes a charming just so slightly round me, before she sees the slightest hint of rejection and she's gone again.

So annoying. You know, I sometimes think that maybe... .just maybe, If she came back around suddenly I'd be on the staying board. Lord give me strength.