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What do you guys think of this text? Is it projection you think?

" I hope you can see that sometimes you protect yourself by being proud or lashing out ( projecting her rage here? ) with words or being selfish or indifferent . Maybe this can change , maybe not but I hope you look into yourself and recognize all I am saying"

I don't even know what she is talking about on this . I got mad at her yes! I protect myself by lashing out ? I never threw any shoes in her face or threaten to call the police?  I was indifferent? I always reached out to her ?

I found this on one of the notes I made after one of our arguments . 

It is hard to comprehend her thinking towards me and I think I never will.

Could be. Mine sent me to therapy to "fix" me (couples' counseling which she abandoned after one joint session, and two individual ones... .I spent probably over $2500 only to be told there was nothing really wrong with me).

The question I have is how much of what she says do you buy into. What do you own?

when we broke up I bought all of it.  I own and understand that I got p!ssed at her behaviour which made things worse of course . But in my mind was justifiable to confront her for what she did to me. After not seeing her for 2 1/2 months I look at this texts and really think or wonder if all of this was an strategy of her part or she actually believes this.  Here is a question ... .Do they actually know they are projecting their own faults and behaviour to others ? Or are they oblivious to to what they do?

You may not like this answer, but it could be both. In moments of lucidity, my uBPDx confessed to things I never thought she would... .but the behaviors still continued. In Understanding The Borderline Mother, Christine Lawson says:

"Some borderlines consciously distort the truth in order to prevent abandonment, maintain self-esteem, or avoid conflict. Others may lie to evoke sympathy, attention, and concern. From the borderline’s perspective, however, lying feels essential to survival."Although not all borderlines consciously lie, all borderlines experience perceptional distortions.) When desperation drives behavior such as lying or stealing, they feel innocent of wrongdoing and do not feel guilt or remorse. Apologies are rare, therefore, and borderlines may be confused about why others expect them to feel remorse. They believe that others would do what they did in order to survive. Their explanation is succinct, “But I had to!” Thus the borderline is unconcerned with the consequences of lying because she feels she had no other option."

I think this goes back to the 10 beliefs which get us stuck, assuming they think like we do. Nothing could be further from the truth.

That's a great snip it Turkish. I wonder what she is doing now still. I know that she is out there drinking her face off sleeping with who knows or  how many guys. Or maybe she has a new victim by her side. Still sucks for me to think about it. All I know is that it's going to be a matter of time and whoever she is with will be in the same bs I was in . I think that to alleviate the pain right now. I know is going to take me a long time to forget her . I hope is sooner than later. I'm starting to gain weight and I think my depression is going away a little bit everyday. I can see my muscles coming back . I lost 45 lbs while I was with her .  I was depressed. Depression is really messed up, I can't imagine being depressed all the time . That would be hell.

Glad your doing better and your health is improving.

Good job man of hanging in there.