BPDFamily.com

this is the hardest one for me to get.

I can rationalize things but they don't stick for long.

I understand that the vile things she said were distorted projections and most were untrue.

I also know that the dreadful things she did were driven by extreme fear and her disorder.

The thing is, I was the recipient, all the abuse was directed straight at my head, heart and soul, I was the one mauled by her illness and driven to my knees.

I follow a spiritual path with the main principles being love, tolerance, forgiveness and acceptance but I still find it impossible to align my head and heart with not taking things personally.

I guess it's early days (3 months) and with time being the greatest healer, I'm sure I'll reach a place of peace.

It's more about protecting myself than vengeance.

In the meantime, I'll soldier on, No Contact, and daily healing practices.

This too shall pass.

Do any other folk struggle with not taking things personally relating to our exBPD partners?

We're human beings and the things that have been said and done are wrong regardless of the deseased reasoning behind them. I took it personally and I will again if someone else inflicts abuse on me. No one is exempt from responsibility and I will not tolerate or forgive. You say it very well when you say it's ultimately about ones own protection. Add dignity and future happiness to that. The reason we're all here is because it took us too long to understand and accept the situation and walk away from it. Or am I wrong?

The mentality and behavior of a pwBPD in my opinion = a person waiting outside the front door at 4am for a Black Friday sale at a retail department store. Most of the people at 4am have a need to get something and they will push and step on and crush anyone along the way. The mentality = I needed it and you were in the way. YOU should of moved. It doesn't matter who we personally are, they needed "it".



Your feelings are normal my friend.