BPDFamily.com

We were together 7 years. She's now late 30s, me late 40s.

So, after she ended it, after she faked wanting to fix it for months, I finally called time.

She immediately finds a replacement, taunts me with sexual slurs and details of their escapades and I say to myself, that's it, total NC.

She tries to break in to the house when I'm at work, and I get law enforcement support. I feel great when she's dealt with and she finally leaves me alone.

Almost. Since  then, this has happened... .

She manages to 'bump in to"  my ex wife , twice, and make nice conversation. She tries to get two of my friends to get involved in passing messages ( they decline). All tame enough.

I go to another city in another country, to see someone I know who runs a bar/hotel there... .I'm there 4 hours when he gets a facebook request and message from her, asking if there is any space in the hotel for her that week, 'One night, for one person'... .almost a come-on... .

How did she know I was there? Or should I say its a coincidence? Not likely. Especially when the next day I find she had FB requested two of my other close friends... .and that's only what I KNOW about... .

Why , when they end it, can they just let it go? My guess is the replacement isn't working out and she needs the contact drama.

Dude Im literally starting to think that they take ownership of us in they're minds. Like a toy or something that they think they own. How dare you try to get away from the abuse don't you know she owns you? How dare you do that to her don't you know your supposed to stay put like a good little boy and take that punishment? I mean why not you said you loved her didn't you? So how dare you try to get your life back in order. It isn't your life it is theirs and also don't you realize that theyre pain is the greatest amount ever felt in the world. You mean to tell me you can't take a couple of years worth of abuse when this persons pain is greater then yours? I mean they are the ones with the diagnosis so how dare you not keep being a punching bag don't you know that the diagnosis gives them the right to do those things? SMH how dare you sir your a horrible person indeed LOL. I'm sorry but this ish is a joke to me sometimes. It really is that unbelievable. It's almost as if theyre brain works in reverse. It's literally the type of mindstate of walking up to someone in the streets and punching the ish out of them and then saying "What the heck look what you made me do you made me hurt my hand on your face why did you walk into my fist you idiot don't you know I have BPD"?

borderlines have no self of sense. they failed to individuate and get an abandonment depression from their caregivers during childhood (like what happens to all normal healthy people). they get their identity from attaching to people. probably her supply (your replacement) has flee. she is now in identity crisis and cant be alone. she will do her best to get you back or anyone new that would give her identity. stand your grounds. she is just trying to get her supply. she just wants to get rid of the pain and introject it in you. make sure that she is blocked in every way and let her feel the abandonment that might help her to seek therapy (i doubt though. probably its easier for her to get a new supply).

continue what you are doing . you are doing great  |iiii

A strange thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago. A girl I slept with during one of many breaks from my BPD ex became a target of her hatred. A totally irrational hatred. BPD ex would sit and stare at her FB page while regurgutating her anger over the "relationship" I've had behind her back. The girl who had everything she wanted and for that "deserved to be raped". So nothing out of the ordinary but still twisted world we've all inhabited there.

The girl is an old friend and the ex wife of an even older friend. The attraction had always been there and between relationships we both acted on it. We met a couple of times and that was it. Sex ended and we remain friends. She is now engaged and pregnant and working a full time job while studying for her PhD. It's no exaggeration to say that her time is limited and I hardly ever hear from her. Hence my surprise three weeks ago when I find a text message saying that my BPD ex was trying to add her as a friend on FB. She found it pathetic. I found it creepy. Now I'm not sure how to look at it. No idea what that was all about.

Does anyone now or understand this one better?

Also I forgot to add that my friend blocked the BPD ex and the call came a couple of hours later. I recognised the darker tone in her voice as here comes the all familiar s**tstorm. I put the phone right down without a word. She didn't call back that day.

Agree with you, Arminius. In the breakup I am going thru, we went from rage, to not answering my texts, to now he has several connections to my life. Said he put a hold on his mail here weeks ago. Apparently not, because things keep coming here. How convenient for contact. "Im stopping by to get my mail". AND see whatever I can while I am there.  Moved a half hour away, but his storage unit is in my storage place 5 minutes away from me. Why? So when my work van is there, he knows I am home. If my car is there, I am working. I consider that stalking. I have said the same. If you ended it with me, then go. No, I don't want to chat with you in a month. No, I don't want to be your "friend" on Facebook or in any way. To me, done is done. We all know why they do it. It's just so painful and frustrating,  and it helps to vent here *)

Look at it for what it is. She is sick