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Title: What To Do With Her Stuff? Post by: learnandgrow on July 10, 2014, 03:20:01 PM If anyone here has followed my posts, you know I got out of a bad relationship a few weeks ago and have been strict no contact for about a week after learning of a number of lies. I have no idea if she has even tried to contact me.
That being said, her stuff and stuff she's "given" me is all over my place. What's the best way to handle this? I was going to stuff it all in a flat rate box and send it back to her; not only the stuff she's left here but the stuff she's gifted to me, cards, etc. This would serve two purposes for me. 1) Get it out of my life and out of my line of vision. 2) Show her there is no link back to me. I am burning that bridge. I kept the things from the first time I dated her and she made a note of that when I dated her this second time. However, I've been told that any form of attention they get shows them "they" are winning. I don't want her to think she's won, or that I'm giving her attention. Also, I'm a bit afraid of her sending back things I've given her, like a ring she's worn for 5 years straight... .even through other relationships. I don't care if she wears it or not... .but it's not something I want to see in my mailbox. That would hurt a bit. I don't know if that's something she would actually send back. So what would the community here recommend? Title: Re: What To Do With Her Stuff? Post by: enlighten me on July 10, 2014, 03:32:09 PM With my ex wife I sent everything back apart from a wooden statue of a dog that my sons where attached to. I also deleted any photos with her in them apart from one where she looked awful.
She seemed upset when I went to collect my stuff and didn't want the wedding album. Don't have much the exgf gave me but Im a lot stronger now so any reminder of her doesn't set me off. You may want to keep 1 item that you like. Put it away and then when your stronger bring it out as a reminder of what your not missing. Title: Re: What To Do With Her Stuff? Post by: myself on July 10, 2014, 03:43:41 PM It's not about if she thinks she wins, it's what works best for you. You wouldn't be sending 'attention', just physical items. If she sends anything, you don't have to open. Set aside. Toss out.
Title: Re: What To Do With Her Stuff? Post by: Mr Hollande on July 10, 2014, 03:50:24 PM I contemplated sending everything she gave me to her but decided against it because I thought it would just be a confirmation that I cared enough to try and make a desperate statement. I also considered throwing them away but that would have been painful so I put everything in a big box marked "TRASH" and put it in the attic.
Title: Re: What To Do With Her Stuff? Post by: Mr Hollande on July 10, 2014, 03:53:59 PM I agree with Myself. You don't have to accept anything she sends to you. Return it unopened. That's what I would do.
Title: Re: What To Do With Her Stuff? Post by: learnandgrow on July 11, 2014, 10:34:51 AM Stuck it all in a flat rate box and shipped it back. It'll be at her door tomorrow. I won't even know her reaction given NC.
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