BPDFamily.com

I thought this might be helpful to post.

I came across an article about "How To Tell If Someone Is Lying."  The article states:  Watch for micro expressions. The true measure of a person’s emotions will quickly flash across their face at the beginning of a conversation. It could be a half smile that lasts for five seconds or a worried look that lasts the same amount of time. These micro expressions are sometimes noticed by people subconsciously and they tend to know right away that a person is lying, although they do not know how they know this. A lot of people tend to feel a “gut instinct” about something such as a person who is lying, and this is usually as a result of seeing a micro-expression during a conversation. The micro expression is quick but if you watch for it you can see it.

Wikipedia's definition is this:A microexpression is a brief, involuntary facial expression shown on the face of humans according to emotions experienced. They usually occur in high-stakes situations, where people have something to lose or gain. Microexpressions occur when a person is consciously trying to conceal all signs of how he or she is feeling, or when a person does not consciously know how he or she is feeling.[1][2] Unlike regular facial expressions, it is difficult to hide microexpression reactions. Microexpressions express the six universal emotions: disgust, anger, fear, sadness, happiness, and surprise. Nevertheless, in the 1990s, Paul Ekman expanded his list of emotions, including a range of positive and negative emotions not all of which are encoded in facial muscles. These emotions are amusement, contempt, embarrassment, anxiety, guilt, pride, relief, contentment, pleasure, and shame.[3][4] They are very brief in duration, lasting only 1/25 to 1/15 of a second.

My UBPDH definitely has a specific microexpression he does by wrinkling or twitching his nose, which he does frequently in conversation.  I used to wonder if he were lying when he did it, but it didn't always match up with what would possibly be a lie.  I find it an interesting and very possible link to the BPD, not knowing how they are feeling when questioned or in conversation. 

Anyone else seen a microexpression with their BPD?

Hi Livestrong97,

would it not be great if we could say if Observation == then follows ==> Conclusion? Would make life so much easier.

Still the simple formula O ==>C - not sure it holds enough for you to reliably spot lies. There is a whole branch of "science" around lie detectors with a very questionable achievement track record and sometimes a worse ethical use record. In case of BPD we have also the additional complication that "lies" are not always conscious lies and sometimes are simply distortions brought about by current or past (how would one spot that?) memory rewrite.



It is definitely worth carefully observing our partners. Emotions are expressed often much stronger in movement, tone and deeds than in words. By all means keep observing and if behavior around lying is motivating you put extra attention to the task - wonderful. Most of us are weak in emotion reading and need practice, practice and practice. O ==> C however is short circuiting reasoning and passing judgment without sufficient facts. We can Observe, we can reasonably reliable identify a set of Emotions. O ==> E1, E2, E3?, E4? Sometimes guessing E allows us to speculate on Conclusions. Almost always it is better to validate E's which turns our guessed into confirmed emotional facts or disproves our guesses. We may then draw conclusions on a more solid basis and again it is often best to focus on ourselves e.g. how much trust we extend and not on judging the other side. And when we validate we also reduce a lot the motivation for game playing - the emotions are on the table - less need for an elaborate ruse to hide them.

Thank you anOUght - I appreciate the response.  I am learning more about myself through all of this and will take your advice. 

Using all our senses and awareness is important when arriving at our perceptions of reality. However be very careful when using one alone to draw conclusions.

A quote I like to bear in mind is that "Assumption is the mother of all Stuff Ups"