BPDFamily.com

About 4 months ago, the situation with my ex girlfriend got so bad, I just knew I had to get away,, I went to a travel expo, and they had special airfares to Sth America... So off I went... If I ran away from the situation, we so be it, that is what I did.

That was four months ago... I have been traveling all around Peru, central America, Argentina etc. It has been great.

But of course you still carry the pain with you...   it just forces detachment, that is all...

Surprisingly it was on my travels here, while sitting in a backpackers on-line in Costa Rica  that I came across this site that I learnt about borderline for the first time, and hey, my ex just fitted into the mold like a key in a lock. I was amazed.

Now I suddenly realize what looms in front of me, not too far down the track,in three weeks,,When I return home to New Zealand, I will return to my empty house, and she only lives an hours drive away... Every holiday must end.   

I know I will need all the strength I can ever get not to contact her...  

I know even if she is with someone else, ( and she will be ) that she will still see me, just as I now realize, she would of sneaked off to see any one of her ex,,es while we were together.

If I do make the contact,  we will of course end up between the sheets again.

Not necessarily back to square one... .  but it will back in the lions den for me. .

I know, I know I will have to be so so strong.

But also, on the other side of the coin,--- I wonder if I will see her in the same light as I did before ?

I looked at her photo the other night for the first time in a long while, and I almost saw a different person, than the one I used to love... .

I felt almost contempt for her... .  All the lies, the sea of lies she used to swim through. It is almost as if the light had really come on... . 

I just hope I can stay strong... .I hope I can

Finish living the dream... .

Get on another plane and come to Australia we have a pretty big expat NZ population over here already :P

Hehe, I had to throw that in I'm sorry... .

Its a choice mate, think of it this way, bad joke but to put it in perspective. ... .  when a sheep sees a farmer coming in NZ wearing his gumboots with that big happy go lucky grin that sheep runs.  Doesn't stop, doesn't think just runs.  Why ?  That sheep knows what is about to happen. 

Your own experience should tell you that if you don't run, if you even think about staying when that smiling assassin comes along... .  Think about it, what will happen to that sheep, well its a old stab at NZ's and a pretty crass joke.  However, that's what a BPD partner will do to you. 

When you see her coming, just plain run.