|
Title: Does this accurately describe our failed BPD relationships? Post by: AwakenedOne on July 13, 2014, 11:03:48 PM Um... .just thinking out loud.
So from what I have read and learned so far regarding BPD: 1. BPD love = we were not loved as an actual individual person. Therefore we were the only ones in love in the relationship. They were in need. 2. The entire relationship was a lie and a selfish manipulation. 3. I have read many references to a BPD relationships as being parasitic. We are descibed as the host for the parasite. Thinking I served as her "host" makes me want to barf actually. Sometimes I feel like a sucker and a fool but being a host is actually worse. Title: Re: Does this accurately describe our failed BPD relationships? Post by: Blimblam on July 13, 2014, 11:35:13 PM Um... .just thinking out loud. So from what I have read and learned so far regarding BPD: 1. BPD love = we were not loved as an actual individual person. Therefore we were the only ones in love in the relationship. They were in need. 2. The entire relationship was a lie and a selfish manipulation. 3. I have read many references to a BPD relationships as being parasitic. We are descibed as the host for the parasite. Thinking I served as her "host" makes me want to barf actually. Sometimes I feel like a sucker and a fool but being a host is actually worse. 1. I think we serve the purpose for a need for them but once we become idealized they are in infatuation with the idea of who we are in their fantasy. On the flip side we project on to them also and we do the same. I think its not so much of none of it was real its just how we perceived them was our own projection, which is not to blame us, we didn't know what BPD was. 2. The relationship was real but we and them both got caught up in our own idealistic projections. They are following the protocol of the disorder then entire time which is extremely manipulative by nature. Through the trauma bonding we fall deep into denial when we begin to see inconsistancies with our projection and we cling to hope that things will get better. 3. I agree they are parasitic! Title: Re: Does this accurately describe our failed BPD relationships? Post by: AwakenedOne on July 14, 2014, 12:42:44 AM 1. I think we serve the purpose for a need for them but once we become idealized they are in infatuation with the idea of who we are in their fantasy. On the flip side we project on to them also and we do the same. I think its not so much of none of it was real its just how we perceived them was our own projection, which is not to blame us, we didn't know what BPD was. 2. The relationship was real but we and them both got caught up in our own idealistic projections. They are following the protocol of the disorder then entire time which is extremely manipulative by nature. Through the trauma bonding we fall deep into denial when we begin to see inconsistancies with our projection and we cling to hope that things will get better. 3. I agree they are parasitic! At 4 months from the end of our relationship she changed and then had totally different religious beliefs, hobbies, goals and preferences and EVERYTHING. She just didn't change to new things all of a sudden, she took the mask off. She basically just stopped around the 4 month mark. At that point the vibe she sent out was "This is me and if you don't like it f off and there is the door". So I think it's fair to say the relationship was a lie. Understanding that BPD love = need has been helpful in making sense of it all. From 4 months from the end she no longer needed me. Still doesn't after 10 months of NC. Title: Re: Does this accurately describe our failed BPD relationships? Post by: peiper on July 14, 2014, 01:29:41 AM Mine was a lib when we ment but within a monthshe was a conservative, which I am. There was alot of that in the first few months. Then she changed back.
Title: Re: Does this accurately describe our failed BPD relationships? Post by: Blimblam on July 14, 2014, 03:04:47 AM they become who they are around. I was injured when I met mine a couple months later all of a sudden she had a similar injury to the exact same part of the body. I think that their experiences are real for them but is shallow like everything about them. The thing is as much as they lie to you when it comes to the "new identity" it is real for them. They are lying to themselves. The thing is so are we.
We like to think that we know who we are that we have it all together. That's just who we tell ourselves we are. Its just we have an anchor and they do not. We all lie to ourselves. |