|
Title: Need advice for last contact.. Post by: topknot on July 16, 2014, 12:01:43 AM He is coming here 8/2 for all his furniture. I know he will bring his friends to make me feel uncomfortable. Thought about just leaving, but wait a minute, this is my home! Should I just be brave and stay here alone? That is so scary and painful to me. Should I have a guy friend here to rock his boat? This is going to be very, very hard to see him after all this time. Need your advice, please, dear Board, whose opinions I value so much. ...
Title: Re: Need advice for last contact.. Post by: Overbeck on July 16, 2014, 12:20:51 AM Two female friends and a video on your phone.
Also, many local PDs will send an officer to witness such events if there is a documented history of conflict between the parties. Title: Re: Need advice for last contact.. Post by: Frankcostello on July 16, 2014, 12:25:01 AM I would just let him pick up his stuff and leave. :)on't rock the boat or anything of that sort. Let it go, long term you'll be glad you did. Rocking the boat won't get anything done. I remember when my exBPDgf had to pick up her stuff I let her take her stuff from my house but I wasn't there when she did it. I had a friend be there when she was taking her stuff. Figured if my exBPDgf doesn't care about me, why should I give her the satisfaction of her seeing me looking at her while she's taking her stuff from my house. If you are going to be there I would just have one of your friends be there with you, not one that would rock the boat, just one that would be there for moral support. Better yet, if you really want to give yourself satisfaction don't be there have one of your friends be there while they take his stuff. That shows him that you have moved on from him and he's no longer part of your life and you are not going to give him anymore of your time.
Title: Re: Need advice for last contact.. Post by: goldylamont on July 16, 2014, 12:34:06 AM absolutely have over as many people as possible. if you can, get some friends together, guys and gals, and have them box his stuff up and place it in an easy to reach place so the exchange goes faster when he arrives.
my ex forced the issue on me when she *finally* got her arse out of my house. told me her new bf was helping her move and that she thought i should just leave, accusing me of wanting to fight him. it was the furthest thing from the truth. i held my ground though, no way in hell i was going to have her and her new bf going through my apt all alone after all of her hateful behavior. i didn't know what they would steal or try and have sex on/with ( *) these were my emotional fears at the time). i took my moms advice, helped her box up and move downstairs towards the door as much stuff as possible (the day before) so they could just grab it there. wouldn't need to be in my place too much. then, i had two other friends come by and hang out with me the day of--not just for muscle but actually just to have someone positive there and to defuse anything. we were able to stay out of the way and i had some oversight that my ex wasn't bringing the new bf through all my stuff. i still appreciate my friends so much just for being there. we hung out in the garage and apt with some beers and played music... .it was actually a blessing i got to meet the new bf (but that's a different topic) seriously, if you can, have some friends over for a soire of sorts. serve some appetizers, have some music going. buy some things you like, favorite drinks/foods and make it celebratory. try and make the situation as light as possible. this will help you calm the heavier emotions. Title: Re: Need advice for last contact.. Post by: eagle755 on July 16, 2014, 01:12:53 AM The day that I had to collect my things from my ex with BPD, I brought 4 separate girls, at four separate times. Two of which she knew I was going to sleep with after I left.
No shame. You wanna screw with my head, and cheat and lie, I'll screw with yours more. Even if it doesn't affect them the same, it made me feel better |