BPDFamily.com

What I want to understand is how do borderlines get us so attached to them? I have some codependency issues which I am dealing with, but my BPD got me hooked in away that no other girlfriend has ever done. I mean I wasn't actually that physically attracted to her apart from her great smile.  Her voice was out of this world, but most of it was to do with how she made me feel. I think that some of what they do is using seduction fraction.  Of course there is mirroring going on and putting us on a pedestal initially i.e. I have never met someone as understanding as you (all the rest of the exs are ___s!)  What do people think?

I think, in both my cases, I was treated as the center of their world.  They make you believe that you are the best thing out there, that they have never met anyone like you before in their life... .like they have been waiting patiently forever to find you.  They mirror you and completely idealize you for who and what you are.  Its hard enough thinking clearly at the beginning stages of "love"... .but how can you not fall for that?  Now I realize it was just a big con... .to satisfy their own emotional and narcissistic needs at the time.   

This is true for me also.  I wasn't at all attracted to my BPDexh.  He was much older and didn't have much going for him in the way of looks.  But I overlooked all that because of how I felt when I was with him.  He treated me so well and appeared to adore me.  I fell for him because I believed he loved me and that I would be loved for the rest of my life.  He really laid it on thick and for quite a long time.  I totally fell for all his lies.

I think it is so easy to be flattered and get carried away by all their charm and adoration.  Once we are fooled, it is too late.  We want them as much as we thought they wanted us.