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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: OutOfEgypt on July 20, 2014, 04:03:05 PM



Title: Control
Post by: OutOfEgypt on July 20, 2014, 04:03:05 PM
So, today was another reminder of how my uBPD exw loves to assume control of things that should really not be her concern.  Today, it involved the kids and her telling them what they should be doing and what I should be doing, even though they are with me (and have been for like a month) while she is away.

I was tempted to get angry (which would just make me look a fool).  I was tempted to tell her what's up (which would do nothing).  I was tempted to give her a piece of my mind and tell her she needs to not be saying anything if it has nothing to do with her (pointlessly).  I was tempted to get all tense and obsessive about "stopping" her from ever doing that again (which wouldn't stop anything but only rob me of my position).  But I didn't.  I let it go.  I told her, "Oh, good idea.   I was planning on doing that, but yes, good idea.  I agree."  I let it go without following the compulsion to stop her or compete with her for "top dog."  I didn't play her game.  I didn't allow it to take residence in my brain and take over my thoughts.  I let it go.

And I'm thankful.  I give myself a high-five today.


Title: Re: Control
Post by: LettingGo14 on July 20, 2014, 04:08:12 PM


High five from me to you as well.   |iiii


Title: Re: Control
Post by: refusetosuccumb on July 20, 2014, 04:15:25 PM
 |iiii