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And I’m decided to leave waiting on the timing, planning etc. So this is just a vent today. Not much I can do about anything anyway but I can’t keep this…

He’s been offered a promotion at his work. It’s a big deal, he’s really very good at what he does…he’s not going to take the promotion…why? When I clear away all the rubble of words, reasons, what-have-you it all boils down to he doesn’t want to make his friends angry. He doesn’t want to be a supervisor, he doesn’t want to have the responsibility, he *knows* he’ll hate the job….

Me? I bring up the fact that he’s always complaining about how we have no money to do anything, we can’t buy an house we can’t go on vacation, we can’t do anything….I’m telling him point blank that these are his words (excuses) as to why we can never do anything (basically all the things I want in my life) and he dismisses them all…why? Because HE cannot stand the idea of those people not LIKING him. wow.

Yea, but it’s perfectly ok of his wife’s wants and desires to be put lower on him list of prioritize than the ‘like’ of people he b___es about all the time to me…oh, they’re all lazy, dumb, can’t work, can’t work as fast as him…the list goes on….whatever. Dang it I’m busting my ass trying to get us out of the red, get us in the black and keep us above and maybe…just maybe someday actually thriving so we CAN afford our own house (he know exactly how important this is to me) and so we CAN afford to actually take a vacation…and it’s for what? To be f’ing sabotaged around ever corner and be told over and over again why it’s impossible. F that. Really and truly just F it all. Sorry. Mad. Upset. Angry.

So he comes to my work this morning still b___ing about his co-workers and stressing about the job offer. And I tell him again where I’m at….basically, and always…I will NEVER ever tell him what to do. He’s going to do what he’s going to do…I share my thoughts and he shoots them down. Whatever. Again. And again. And again.

You want to know something funny? A couple of years ago his parents moved from this state to another state. They offered him their house. They wanted to GIVE us their house. He said no…and you know why he said no? Because he didn’t want to deal with his siblings being mad at him. So his brother took the offer and now lives in a fully paid for house….and my H b___es because his brother lives in a paid for house….wtheckever.

Ok, I’m done venting…just had to get that out someplace.