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So we been broken up sinse Christmas I havnt seem her since may.   But I still have to much resememt I still think about her  like everyday a bunch of times.  Her last text was to stop thinking about her so much.  Yeah, I would love to. But for some reason i can't.   I can feel her like a ball in the pit of my stomache a constant harassment.  I hate this

So, hate it - honestly - it sucks.

You can work on meditation, distractions and exercise to have moments where you don't think of her... .but how about accepting she is going to be in your head for a while, push her to the side and keep going anyways.  What we resist will persist, make an appointment with her daily to write out the conversation maybe.

If there were a magic pill that i could give you - I would.  I know it is hard and sucks.

So, while you are thinking of her - what NEW thing are you doing only for you?  volunteering, marathon, what is something for you to do?

BlimBlam, I know how you feel and feel for you. I think sometimes we can overanalyze, over think things. I found I did, my mind, my heart just got so tired with it all and I have noticed that I am simply "bored" of it now, I hope that you can reach this stage, it is so wonderful, yes, I think of her still, yes, I feel anger almost hate at times too but I just can't be bothered any more, why should we waste time effort and energy on them, we should be grateful that we're out of it all, we're free or at least on the way to being free. Life is for living, not for dwelling on people who don't care about you or I.

We're so much better than this nonsense, let them be, let them fester.

I also found its good to not log into this site for a day or two, just to give your mind a break and possibly stop encouraging more thoughts re your ex. After all there's lots more constructive things to do than be on a forum 24/7.!

Not a criticism just have found that it helped me and still does, I pop on nearly every day still but just take a day or two off sometimes.

I really hope you start to feel better soon.

Some of the last hooks are the deepest and most painful. That's the stuff we're really letting go of. The hooks that weren't ripped from us, but that we're choosing to remove. To heal from. For ourselves, by ourselves.

There is wisdom to this - the boards become a safe zone, which is needed desperately - sometimes we do need to go live life, let the BPD not be quite so amplified in focus... .thus my suggestion, pick something new for you to try.

Thank you venetus, sb, myself,

That was another hook.  I've dug through a lot of emotions and now I'm getting to the anger and rage layers. I'm feeling better now but just part of the process.  I still have tons of anxiety and it is what it is.  Each time my mind gets back on her hard I find another hook to release one layer at a time.  It seems like each time I find a hook I have some type of bargaining and then an intense emotion connected to it.

I can't wait untill this is over.

It's just takes time. I know you want it to be over, we all do. But it takes a long time for some of us. I'm three years out and it's been a struggle for me, because I have trouble getting to my feelings through all of the anxiety. I find that literally doing nothing, not meditating, not trying to achieve anything helps the most. It does get better though. It's gotten drastically better for me.

I think it's hard to get out of the prison they put us in, in our heads. My parents were always telling me I had to do stuff, and tried to force me to go to school and obey in very demanding and emotionally unhealthy ways. I guess that's why I put up with her being a Nazi about everything. The Hitler in your head will fall, you've gotta kill him with kindness though. Hope you feel better.

My resentment is a friend who helps me to keep my head high and my back straight in the face of the humiliations I've just crawled out from under. My resentment will urge me to keep walking away from her. Resentment will give me the strength needed to overcome this nightmare once and for all. Resentment will put me on the path to recovery and healing. Resentment is my friend!

That's how I see it.

Nice post Mr Hollande, very nice.