BPDFamily.com

It was a very up and down relationship, more down that up.

We have a 2 year old son and my ex is in the final year of med school. She has BPD and the whole relationship follows the patterns, she is more waif than anything.

We had many "break ups" that only last a few days. We broke up in October 2013 until February 2014. She came back to me after being away at a "medical conference" in London while I was looking after our son.

The medical conference was a lie, she had met a psychiatrist on a dating site and traveled 200 miles to go on a date with him. My friend saw her in Primrose Hill, London with another man, she denied this but I've later found out otherwise.

The next day she came back to me, we had sex and we got back together until May 23rd 2014. This man is rich and their second date was a trip to Spain where he takes all of him girls. He is a womaniser and turns out to be a friend of a friend.

They have been out several times, she has stayed at his home and now she is going for a spa break with him this weekend. She lives 200miles away, he wont commit to an non jewish woman and she has a 2year old son.

I know he wont commit, I know about his womanising as does she but she is still seeing him! Why? She hates players.

I'm having a really rough time as she also slept with another man last weekend.

I cant get over this, if it was a nice guy it wouldn't be so bad. I cant get over the fact that she is seeing a womaniser, he is showing off with expensive trips away! Why cant I get over this?

Also whats the likelihood the he spots the BPD as hes a psychiatrist? 

Wow. That's tough. My guess is, if you're like me, you're in protection mode. I think as the knight in shining armor I once was, I guess I feel it's my job to save her. What really needs to happen, is we need to step aside and let them have the dignity and grace to make their mistakes. We have to let people be accountable for their own actions. I'm more worried about you and why you are still hooked into her every move. I'm more worried about my actions and why I am hooked into my BPD's every action and move, and we've had NC for more than a month now. It's over. She's moved on to the next savior /victim(s). Yet these waifs have us worried, don't they? I believe we see it as our job to make sure they don't get hurt, because they always do and they will. But I have to keep telling myself that's not my job! What she does now is really none of my business. Let her have her fun. Let him have his fun. I promise it will all come crashing down. Not that we really want to see people get hurt, but what we really need to figure out is how and when are WE going to start having our own fun?

Thank you, you're very right but my mind and heart are going in different directions.

She is the mother of my son so I feel I need to save her, I feel its my duty. I've tried waning her about him but she wont listen.

He wont commit to her, she know that but she's fighting. She say she doesn't care if he commits because they're just having fun. I know her and she is being her perfect self to hook him in, I know it wont work.

I think the fact she had him lined up and then came back to me hurts me. She met him then came back to me! The day after.

I know I need to let her make her own mistakes but it really is paining me inside. I don't want her to move on. My father is a narcissist and I'm addicted to her due to my childhood wounds.

Do you think this psychiatrist will spot the BPD before long?

One would hope. Take good care of yourself and your son. She's clearly not able.