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Title: The low after the high - thinking about him again Post by: Popcorn71 on August 01, 2014, 04:40:58 PM I have been very busy with a new project recently. It's taken all my spare time lately and I feel very pleased with the results of my hard work. I have achieved far more than I would ever have dreamed of this time last year. I am happy and feel successful for the first time in years.
However, I feel low this evening. After a couple of months of being so busy, I now have time to think again, and I've gone right back to thinking of him. It doesn't help that I keep seeing him and the replacement regularly as they now live 1/4 mile away, with only one road in and out of the village and they use the same shops, etc. It's weird. I think of him but it's almost like he's faceless. I think of scenarios where we would be celebrating, and how we would have dealt with this together. At the same time I get really angry that he is now doing what I always wanted him to do, with the replacement, when he wouldn't make the effort with me. He always had some excuse, so I know that the reality of being with him now wouldn't match up to my little fantasies. I think I just miss 'somebody' being in my life. I think that I want to share my achievements with someone, not be sitting here alone wondering why I bothered. Any thoughts on this or tips on how to get him out of my mind? Title: Re: The low after the high - thinking about him again Post by: seeking balance on August 01, 2014, 04:58:17 PM This is a really good post popcorn - it really shows creative action in work, while simultaneously demonstrating the grief process versus being lonely.
I think I just miss 'somebody' being in my life. I think that I want to share my achievements with someone, not be sitting here alone wondering why I bothered. Any thoughts on this or tips on how to get him out of my mind? We tend to think of the last person we were with when we feel lonely - this is human nature, honestly. Humans like to couple/partner up - we are built that way. So, you are lonely right now - the truth is, I tell myself when that happens - it will pass. It always does. Use your past success as an indicator that it does pass. So, maybe instead of "getting him out of your mind", try refocusing. Kinda like if you take a picture of a flower and a tree - the focus is of the flower, but you want the tree - so you refocus. Your life is the picture, you feel lonely (he comes into mind) - instead looking at him, look at the flower. Keep in mind, sometimes we need another round of processing. Sit with the emotions, feel them, cry if you need to - then let go and refocus. Glad you have been doing well the past couple months |iiii This is all a process, not an event - this lonely will pass by, it always does Peace, SB |