BPDFamily.com

3.5 months out.  Some days better than others, but most days now are good for me.  We have 2 kids together so I can only do LC, wish I could do NC but that's not realistic.  I've finally trained my ex to do texts and emails instead of calling.

I was grocery shopping with the kids last night.  Saw him call, didn't answer because I couldn't, didn't see him leave a message.  About 10 minutes later, I see someone calling and answer it because I could.  It was him.  He asked me to give him a number of a mutual friend, so I did and said goodbye.  I patted myself on the back for how easy it seemed to go.  He called back immediately and started raging at me that I was rude and hung up on him without saying goodbye (which I did), that I obviously screen my calls and won't answer if I think it's him.  I tried SET with him, that didn't work.  I firmly told him I was sorry that he felt I was rude to him, that I was busy with the kids and to have a good day.  He said goodbye and slammed down the phone.  Then I get 3 texts in a row telling me how rude I was, that I obviously don't love him (I don't anymore) and that i get satisfaction knowing he's on his own and lonely.  Truth is, his house is a hive of activity and every time I've picked up the kids his friends are at his door as I"m on my way out. 

I'm thinking that he called me in the 0.4 seconds he was actually alone.  After those texts, I didn't get anymore so I believe someone must have come over to keep him company.

For those few minutes, he had me so wound up that I needed to smoke a ciggy to calm myself down (currenly trying to quit).  I rarely smoke in front of the kids, but I had to have them sit in the van while I had one so that I could continue on my happy evening with them (which was successful).  My kids are awesome.  When I got back in the van, they told me they were sorry daddy made me feel so stressed and that they knew I was doing well with quitting and to just keep trying.

Grrrrrr.  These days, the only drama I ever have is when my ex pulls me into his.  Goes to show me that I made the right choice and being alone is better than being attached to drama.