BPDFamily.com

What is your experience with your BPD and their drug abuse?  I don't know what's what or what's worse.  I'm happy to be out of the house and away from the toxicity of it all but I know that processing all of the trauma I have endured is going to take time and I need to understand and connect.  A bit of my story for this post is:  "BPD" was actualized and drug abuse discovered all within a few weeks of each other.  What an insane whirlwind!  You can read more about the details of my relationship in a previous post but I'd truly like to get some feedback about your experiences with your BPD significant other who also abuses drugs.  When we first met 7 years ago, he readily admitted he had a past with shady people and shady deals.  The gory details were left out and I didn't press for them.  I trusted and had faith.  He was articulate, charismatic, had a job, a home, a vehicle, and seemed to be headed in a very positive direction (boy was I WRONG!).  He also divulged that his past included weekend jail time for "marijuana" possession.  Fast forward 7 years down the road to today.  This insane tumultuous relationship whips itself into a frenzy where in the timespan of a few short months (aside from my realizing he is a blazing specimen of BPD), he has been on drugs for the duration of our marriage (cocaine, amphetamines, prescription pain killers, anabolic steroids, alcohol, marijuana) and those are just the drugs I know about.  He thinks I only know of his pot smoking and any time I've insinuated there's got to be more to his behavior than pot, he raged and made into the person with issues.  Long story short, I found his incredibly sick-large stash which revealed he's both "doing" and "selling" - but people have also come forward to tell me what they've witnessed him doing as well.  So…it' all feels like a train wreck and I've been run over, but I'm determined to stand again.  I will not let this person's illness claim one more bit of my soul.