BPDFamily.com

Okay, so here we go... .Ive been expecting this.  My previous ex BPD did this, so I knew it was gonna come around sooner or later.

Ive been in this kinda ambiguous state with my ex uBPD waif fiance for the last 30ish days... .after she kicked me out of the apartment after I called her on some of her lies and gaslighting.  She immediately stopped speaking to me.  We were NC for 32 days until this last monday.

Ive been wondering if I had done the right thing and started to feel guilty about my end of NC.  Last week I received a package in the mail from her with my junk mail from our shared residence.  I thought that was nice that she did that... .maybe she maybe she was trying to open a line of communication?  So on monday I sent her a text thanking her for the mail and told her I wished we had better communication and trust.

Silence.  A few hours later I sent her another text.  Silence.  So I guess I read that wrong!   Haha.  She has a history of cutting people out of her life, including her mother (who cheated on her father) for seven years.  She cuts off her sisters/friends regularly for months at a time.  Now its my turn I guess.  At least now I know and the guilt is alleviated.  I know breaking NC is bad... .but for me it was worth it just so I know where I stand.  Helps making moving on easier. 

Thanks for reading.  Posting here makes coping so much easier.  Im grateful to have all of you to help move on. :)

I'd guess due to the fact that it was just junk mail it was more of a rage response. 

Hi Huh? I have only just moved onto this board because I ended my relationship with my uBPDbf a couple of days ago. His initial response was to cut me dead but clearly he'd had a rethink overnight and decided he wants to remain friends. Anyway, he too cuts everyone out of his life. All his xGFs were psychos apparently and so he has deleted them from his life. One of them used to text him when we were first together and he would just delete the texts, he would see her out and about but completely blank her. He has cut off all his family and only sees his 3 children when it suits him. I think it is the only way they can cope with life moving forward, if they delete the error then it doesn't have to be acknowledged. He has no friends so I was and am his only relationship. How can someone live like that? I know what you mean about breaking the NC but knowing where you stand. The reaction reminds you of their illness and how difficult it is to live with. It really hurts to be cut out when you were supposed to be the best thing that ever happened to them! Stay strong and remember that something better lies ahead.

Pavilion,

Very telling, what you've written above. As you are new to our board (and good for you!), I'm going to advise you to take a look at some of the threads about remaining "friends" with BPDxs. Suffice it to say these don't tend to be mutually fulfilling relationships :).

I have tried to do the quoting so I hope it has worked... .

I feel as though I am dissecting the entire relationship at the moment and was thinking about one 'friend' who did phone him a couple of times to talk and he would never ever make contact or seem keen to talk to them (a married couple). I even suggested that perhaps we could go for a drink with them but of course that wasn't a good idea.

It's all very bizarre.  I have looked at some of the friends threads. Thanks.

Wow--does this ever sound familiar! Did not even think that the "cutting" off of my exbfBPD family and friends. He has completely cut off his father, his two brothers, his adult daughter, all uncles, and most friends (unless they could behoove him financially). He has cut off all three ex wives entirely. All these people have been characterized as psycho and selfish, and all have betrayed him: innocent waif that he is. Now that he owes me a large sum of money and believes he will get no more from me, he has cut me off too.