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Title: I guess we are never too old to learn... Post by: marenellie on August 09, 2014, 11:43:32 PM Hi, I am a 57 year old wife, mom and grandmother. I am certain my 35 year old twin daughters have BPD, one was "pre" diagnosed with it by a therapist who couldn't officially make the diagnosis but recommended she be tested further. That never happened. The other twin has researched and is certain they have it and is trying to get help, as she admits it. I am happy to be here and hope to learn how to move on after realizing the damage that has been happening for 20 years. It's amazing the denial we can be in, in the name of love.
Title: Re: I guess we are never too old to learn... Post by: free-n-clear on August 10, 2014, 04:14:16 AM *welcome* Hello, marenellie. Welcome to our not-so-little family!
I'm glad you've found your way to this site, as we have many parents of adult children with BPD here, and they share with, learn from and support each other. For many people, just the knowledge that they are not alone in facing the difficulties presented by this terrible disorder is, in itself, a tremendous relief. I see you've already selected the Parenting Board (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=4.0) as your 'home' board, so you're well on your way to finding the support and understanding that is so helpful to our many members. It's great that one of your twin daughters is seeking help. Sadly many BPD sufferers never seek or get the treatment they need, so one out of two is a start, at least. Is this daughter seeing a therapist or psychologist? Finding a therapist that she's comfortable with, one familiar with BPD and the various treatments available such as Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT), would be a massive step towards healing for herself and for your family life. You'll find many resources and much information here to help you support your daughters in effective ways. When someone suffers from BPD, not only are they unhappy and unhealthy, but often, so is everyone who loves them. This mental illness can severely affect everyone, creating drama and heartbreak, while also piling on the guilt and anxiety. You'll find information here to help you deal with what we call FOG; Fear, Obligation and Guilt. You'll see that there are things that can be done to avoid making things worse and begin to make them better. A great place to start is with this set of resources: What can a parent do? (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=114267.0) The senior members on Parenting (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=4.0) will take you under their wing and make you feel right at home here. You'll find a genuine warmth and a real sense of community, and the support of people who genuinely understand your situation - because they've faced or are facing it themselves. You're among friends here, marenellie, so once again, Welcome Aboard! free'n'clear. Title: Re: I guess we are never too old to learn... Post by: lever. on August 10, 2014, 07:44:19 AM Hello *welcome*
I am a little older than you maranellie and, since finding this site I have significantly changed the way I respond tomy daughter (and other family members come to that). It must be very difficult to have twins with BPD- how do the get on together- do they have partners? does either of them live with you? I really do hope that you will join us on the parent's board-there is a lot of support and information there. I will look out for you. I am pleased to hear that one of your daughters recognises that there is a problem and is looking for help. Title: Re: I guess we are never too old to learn... Post by: NorthernGirl on August 10, 2014, 09:03:33 AM Hi marenellie. I too would like to welcome you to our community.
free'n'clear has provided some links to some of the many resources on our site, including the Parenting board where you will find people in a similar position. You are in a difficult position having two daughters with BPD. Some of the tools on this site will certainly help you in your interactions with your daughters. Keep posting and letting us know more. You've come to a good place! *welcome* |