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Title: Emotional Caretaker Post by: msrcfam on August 12, 2014, 11:39:57 AM What do you do to take care of YOURSELF as an Emotional Caretaker? When the storm has passed and your BPD had come back down to earth, how do you handle it until the next eruption? Could use all the advice I can get.
Title: Re: Emotional Caretaker Post by: maxsterling on August 12, 2014, 12:02:01 PM I use whatever moments to myself I can get wisely. And if I can't get a moment to myself, I may take a little extra longer in the shower, take the long route home from work, or somehow find some moment that is just "me".
If I get time to myself, I don't use it to just "catch up" on my to-do-list (that I am way behind on because I am tending to her needs). Sure, I get some of that stuff done during my alone time, but I am careful to leave time for exercise such as a gentle walk or bike ride. I work on hobbies, catch up with friends, or treat myself to comfort food. In other words, I do the things in my free time that I used to do before the stress of the BPD relationship. It's amazing how just a 30 minute walk alone before work to the doughnut shop up the street can recharge me. Title: Re: Emotional Caretaker Post by: itgirl on August 13, 2014, 01:00:56 AM The most therapeutic activity for me is to walk the dogs on the beach every day. I also hit the gym and listen to music I want to listen to.
Its my time to unwind from the stress at work and BPD and I am re-charged after that. Oh and I don't have a doughnut shop around the corner but there is a pancake shop by the beach |iiii Title: Re: Emotional Caretaker Post by: 123Phoebe on August 13, 2014, 06:29:51 AM What do you do to take care of YOURSELF as an Emotional Caretaker? When the storm has passed and your BPD had come back down to earth, how do you handle it until the next eruption? Could use all the advice I can get. I live my life by my values, not waiting for the shoe to drop; it will at some point. A big reason why I found it extremely difficult to take care of myself, was because I was so keyed into his moods. His moods effected my entire existence! I wanted him to not have extreme mood shifts anymore. I was attaching my entire being to what he might do next... . While trying to bypass them or JADE him out of them---> directed at him. "You doing this makes me... ! You're doing this, don't you see?" Even if gone unspoken, my actions would scream loud and clear. It was about him, not about me or 'us'. Yet there I was, doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. Waiting around for the next big thing to occur... . Hello, story of my life... . Now I appreciate work more, my dog, my interests, a beautiful sunset, the birds that come to the feeders... .Life. His extreme shifts in mood have lessened, too :) So, we're enjoying these things together as well Title: Re: Emotional Caretaker Post by: waverider on August 13, 2014, 07:12:55 AM I live my life by my values, not waiting for the shoe to drop; it will at some point. This is important you cant live your life waiting on someone else's behavior Title: Re: Emotional Caretaker Post by: 123Phoebe on August 13, 2014, 07:32:46 AM I live my life by my values, not waiting for the shoe to drop; it will at some point. This is important you cant live your life waiting on someone else's behavior You can enjoy the wonderful times and how they enrich your life. I appreciate him, for being him |