BPDFamily.com

Tons of posts on this topic about how pwBPD tend to get angry and irritated when we aren't feeling well.  And that has been my experience so far.  So, last night when I felt horrible, I expected and feared the worst.  BUT - we went to bed early - fine with her.  After she fell asleep, I woke up and spent most of the next few hours in the bathroom.  I then figured I would go lay on the sofa rather than back to bed as to not wake her up with my frequent bathroom trips.  I fell asleep on the sofa, worried that she would wake up and have abandonment fears and lay into me.  But I was in serious pain, and I felt the sofa was a better option for me last night. 

I wound up waking before her alarm went off, and was feeling okay enough to go back to bed.  But just before her alarm sounded, I had yet another bathroom emergency.  She woke up, called out to me, and I replied that i was feeling horrible and was in the bathroom.  I went back to bed and she held me, asked if there was anything she could to to help, and I replied just don't put pressure on my abdomen.  She was actually very comforting :)

Th only downside is that she also declared herself not feeling well, and asked me if she should stay home, too.  Reminds me of the old sibling thing when we are jealous of our sibling being sick and wish we were sick so we could stay home from school. 

But this feels like big progress!  Of course, I am home sick from work and that is no fun, but at least she is not on my case with demands to take care of her needs (as happened in the past).

Good news is always welcome. Glad to hear it.

Weird thing is my pwBPD thrives when I am sick, piling it on and trying make it out that i am worse than I really am. Insisting I need meds and to see Dr etc.

I think it is because of her own hypochondriac. By me being sick it is almost a kind of projection, or a way of demonstrating illness is real and needs to taken seriously. "look your sick, and I'm making a fuss, so you have to take me seriously and make fuss" etc.

If I brush it off its almost as if I am invalidating sickness and her right to make a fuss when she is sick. Either way ultimately it is still about her. She wants "being sick' to stay center stage and not brushed off as trivial.

Yeah, my wife often pushes me to go to the doctor when I'm even just a little sick and to healthy check-ups. She tells me she's gonna die first. i think at some level she knows she needs me around. But I also view it as caring.