BPDFamily.com

I would love to find a way to make my daughter feel there is something off with her way of thinking and feeling. I would love to take her to a doctor, but everything she is, is wrong, is because of me. She truly will say and believe all that has happened to her, is everyone else's fault. She can virtually give extremely convincing arguments. She has her sociopathic side, that seems to fool everyone; including a psychologist one time! She only steals from me, (over 15K) and to this day, I just caught transactions of Western Union, 4x, that were not completed but attempted. I have not read, yet, that one trait of BPD, is also this sociopath side. Has anyone had this?

Meanwhile, she adores me, says she loves me a hundred times a day... .and is sweet as could be. Until... .in the blink of a flea, I am the cause of everything wrong in her life. An hour later, or less, conversations change and she's still talking at lightening speed, but happy!

Spending time with her, is exhausting. She never stops talking, almost like an ADD child. If you could hear her, but not see her, you would hear an excitable 14-16 y.o. She's 30.

I believe I have been losing some very old best girlfriends, because they are just tired of hearing so many disturbing stories and as they don't go away, like most kids having a "bad phase" my girl friends have.

I have had two potential male friends/maybe marriage material, that ultimately found her drama, too exhausting.

As to trying to talk to childless friends- forget that! She'd be in jail or on the street years ago.

I have digressed. Is it possible to find a brilliant doctor on a very sliding scale? And how does one get this adult child to go? 

Hello, Sunset 

I am really sorry for all the trauma and frustration you are going through with your daughter. You mention wanting to talk to her about her troubles, and I'd just like to encourage you to read this Workshop: PERSPECTIVES: Telling someone that you think they have BPD (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=76633.0), before you take that on. That would be a very tricky conversation, and I wouldn't recommend doing that until you understand what you would be getting into... .

I can certainly understand your desire to find a professional for your daughter, and you can find a search bar where you put in your location to find one, and also lots of other pertinent information here: NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness (http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=your_local_nami&Template=/CustomSource/AffiliateFinder.cfm). And, wanting to try to figure out what you can do to encourage your daughter to seek help is something every one of the members of this Board have been doing or are doing now. This Article can help: Article 6: Helping a Loved-One with Borderline Personality Disorder Seek Treatment (https://bpdfamily.com/content/how-to-get-borderline-into-therapy), and posting here is also going to garner you some good insights and advice... .

Your situation sounds so familiar; my own adult (37) son was just diagnosed with BPD last year after a serious Suicidal Ideation which landed him in an Intensive 21-day In-Patient Dual Diagnosis Program. That Program is where he got his BPD diagnosis (he'd been previously diagnosed at age 21 with ADD, Clinical Depression, Suicidal Ideations, Social Anxiety, Substance Addictions and Hyperactive Thyroid), and is the place that saved his life and set him on the course of recovery.

He is now almost 18 months clean and sober of a Heroin addiction, and the only BPD symptoms that are still apparent are his Social Anxiety and a slight Depression from time to time (but nothing like before). I would highly recommend a Dual Diagnosis Center or Program if you are searching for help for your daughter; my son LOVED it there, and was very happy to finally find out where his troubles were originating from. He'd been in 2 "regular" rehabs in a 3-year period a year before the DDx Program, but had relapsed within 6 months of being discharged from those.

This Program treated his mental health issues as a priority, and the substance addiction as co-morbid. I know you haven't said that your daughter has a substance abuse problem, and this type of Program would cover alcohol, any type of drug, and other things that would be co-morbid to mental health issues. It sounds like your daughter would qualify, given her behaviors... .Let us know what you think of the information in the links I've provided to you above, okay? 

*Following*

Do you have or is there a particular list of DD clinics?

My daughter has 4 herniated vertebraes plus various other spine issues, , and a pituitary adenoma. The neurologist has her on 4 hydrocodones per day. She says she couldn't get out of bed without them. Otherwise, barely drinks, no smoking, no drugs. At one time, they thought she might have fibromyalgia/lupus... .her jpoint swell, her feet in the morning. She is also a bit of a physical mess combined with the mental issues. Many doctors just seem to take all of it not too seriously because, as I said earlier, she is very pretty, so it doesn't quite go with the "package".

I don't have a list of Dual Diagnosis Programs/Centers, but the one my son was admitted to was in the state of Pennsylvania. Maybe you could run an Internet search for one in your own state?

Depending on your daughter's diagnoses, they may take her... .I just know that the requirements for admittance to the one my son participated in was a Mental Health Issue (I think at the time they used his ADD, Depression and Social Anxiety for that) and another issue (they used his Substance Addictions and Suicidal Ideations for that). The Center itself then diagnosed him with the BPD and then treated him for it, along with everything else that was troubling him... .