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I am feeling completely broken tonight. My ex has left the territory we live in after I was forced to get a protection order against him without sending me so much as one word about seeing his son or even asking about our sons well being.

I have spoke with his mother whom he is currently staying with to "get treatment" and she says he is very heartbroken about not being able to see his son.

He says it's killing him to not see his child... .yet he states he will never live here again? He won't answer me about what kind if relationship he hopes to have with his son if he will not be returning? He does not request to see him or even ask me about him... .

His mother phones me to ask how myself and my 7 month old are doing... .I tell her the truth but feel like it is continuing to let him feel happy and in control as she can tell him how devastated I am by all of this.  

How can he just walk away from his son? Despite his feelings towards me... .His son won't even remember him anymore by the time he finally sees him again... .whenever that will be.

I CAN NOT UNDERSTAND THIS. He can hate me but how can he go on enjoying his pity party, making excuses about not coming back (no money, unhappy here, not allowed to see his son, when he has a very successful business here and currently has loads of money in the bank and I have always said he could see his child he just cannot come to our home for the time being.) He has friends, hobbies, his whole life was here... .but his only son is here and he is missing seeing him grow up... .why? to hurt me... .this is the only thing I can think.

Has anyone ever experienced this sort of thing before? I am feeling so lost tonight. I can't cry anymore... .I feel so much loss. My son doesn't deserve this... .

Argh,

I don't know what to say.  I'm sorry your in this situation it is horrible. 

I can see however your son has a mother that cares deeply for him and will always be their for him

 

I am in the opposite corner trying to get more contact with my son while she denys access. 

I would like to echo Aussie JJ Green_eyes. You are a good mother - you own that. Your son is lucky to have you   I'm sorry this is difficult. It must be emotionally exausting for you .

You likely feel like your "walking on eggshells" with the guilt from FOG your son's father is throwing up. I'm sorry. He controls his actions, you cannot control him. It must be difficult and guilt is attached by facilitating through the mother. You are devastated but it is his emotional immaturity - it's difficult but try to not feel guilty. The ball is in his court - his choices, not yours.

Hang in there.