BPDFamily.com

Hi all,

I HAVE SOME CERTAINTY!

Mediation booked for the 12th of next month.  I can go hopefully get some more time with my son and then walk into court that evening. 

I have this horrible feeling that I am not ready, sort of accepting that I never will be ready.  Never will be 100 % prepared.  ARGH... .

Feel so good over this but also so horrible that it has come to this. 

I don't know what the laws are like where you are, and I hate to be a downer, but you may need to be at least emotionally prepared for a continuance. I'm only bringing this up because of how many times it happened to us during the custody battle. She changed lawyers at the last minute or her lawyer was suddenly unavailable due to an emergency resulting in continuance after continuance. She canceled mediation the night before twice. Once due to a child's illness (not DH's child, but one from a later relationship) and once because she had her work schedule changed and no longer had the day off.

I found that it was best to be as prepared as we could be for something to happen, but also be emotionally prepared in case nothing happened at all. As it is very deflating when you're ready to go and the other party has their own plan to pull the rug right out from under you. But the plus side for us is that gave us more time to find other evidence so that when we did finally get the case in front of the magistrate there was even more for her to look at.

I am sort of acceptibg it will drag out for ages.  Solicitor has explained that and has two plans to push some aspects through... .

It is beyond taxing working through everything.  I am a wreck at the moment being forced to revisit the previous corrispondance.   

Just don't let it eat you up mate, you still have a life to live, don't let all the BS consume you.

Mediation is a good start, just stay calm and keep the focus on your child and you'll be right.

Be prepared though, she'll probably use every excuse under the sun for you not to be able to see your son.

You're right, and it's impossible to be prepared for everything.

I'm in Aust and mediation was between the solicitors, I didn't sit in the same room, nor did BPD/NPDxh.

Be overly prepared about what you are willing to compromise on.

The solicitors push you for fast decisions and I was already off balance having to be there in that zone.

Does an extra $5,000 really matter?

Is the couch worth fighting over?

Are Tuesday nights with the kids more important than 3 phone calls a week?

etc.

They may not fit you in and you might need a new date. Be prepared for that as an option, but you can still hope that it will go quickly and smoothly.

Good luck.