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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: camuse on August 17, 2014, 05:55:59 AM



Title: The Scorpion and the Turtle
Post by: camuse on August 17, 2014, 05:55:59 AM
So many here, including me, tried to find answers to which there were none. Why did they do those things? Why destroy everything like that? Why behave in that way? The answer is of course, they are disordered and it's what they do! This fable helps me remember, that it's not to do with me - it's just the way they are, and all I can do is accept it. Expecting a BPD to behave logically is like expecting a scorpion not to sting.

Excerpt
A scorpion, being a very poor swimmer, asked a turtle to carry him on his back across a river. "Are you mad?" exclaimed the turtle. "You'll sting me while I'm swimming and I'll drown."

"My dear turtle," laughed the scorpion, "if I were to sting you, we would both drown. Now where is the logic in that?"

"You're right!" cried the turtle. "Hop on!" The scorpion climbed aboard and halfway across the river gave the turtle a mighty sting. As they both sank to the bottom, the turtle said:

"You said there'd be no logic in your stinging me. Now we both shall perish. Why did you do it?"

"It has nothing to do with logic," the drowning scorpion replied. "It's just what I do."



Title: Re: The Scorpion and the Turtle
Post by: MrConfusedWithItAll on August 17, 2014, 07:20:20 AM
Love this fable.  Our BPD scorpion will wait for another turtle to swim by before completing the sting.


Title: Re: The Scorpion and the Turtle
Post by: Junknown on August 17, 2014, 06:53:41 PM
Great fable!

Nothing they will do will be based on logic. My ex had serious logic and mathematical problems. This might have caused her serious problems with long term action consequences prediction and future planning.

I gave up searching for answers. Its impossible to get logical answers out of questions based on illogical facts... .


Title: Re: The Scorpion and the Turtle
Post by: tired-of-it-all on August 17, 2014, 10:07:29 PM
You can't explain crazy.  You can't have a rational conversation with an irrational person.  You can't expect rational behavior from an irrational person.  It is so hard to stop trying.


Title: Re: The Scorpion and the Turtle
Post by: Loveofhislife on August 18, 2014, 04:37:46 AM
I too love this fable--and have used it many times. I have ranted on and on to a best friend that exbfBPD makes no sense--that he imperils himself in every way to have split me black and cut me off. I spent a solid year helping to "get him back on his feet" after losing EVERYTHING and EVERYONE after a 3-year prison sentence (unbeknownst to me when I met him). And yes, his sentence was for fraud and yes he had preyed on other women prior to me. But he was in innocent, over sentences, betrayed, misunderstood. I took him in like a stray covered with fleas and ticks and against EVERYONE'S better judgement (except for my own). He will DROWN if/when I report his financial abuses of me--yet he did it just the same. And he had no care that I would drown with him. WHY? Because HE IS A SCORPION!


Title: Re: The Scorpion and the Turtle
Post by: aeoma on August 18, 2014, 10:12:14 AM
In June I was telling my relationship story to my uncle. He never met and doesn't know my exBPD at all, but he has great intuition and lots of psychology knowledge.

And at the time I didn't start searching for PD explanations of her behavior.

Well, story is, he told me this fable, out of nowhere.

And later her told me, "maybe she's borderline". Spot on.