BPDFamily.com

I was posting a comment on another thread, and it brought up a question I wanted to pose to the group.  

My BPDm has endured a lot of trauma in her life, with a childhood no one would believe if you wrote it in a book, and continued issues with her dysfunctional family to this day.  My brother thinks that therapy would "break her".  My therapist has basically agreed with him.  The argument is that there is so much trauma to work through that it would take years, and if she actually got "real" in therapy it might drive her over the deep end.  She is highly functional, and has constructed such an elaborate set of coping mechanisms that breaking them down would do more harm than good.  At her age, what would be the point?  So, they think it is better to just let her continue in the same way until she's dead.  (This is all hypothetical, of course, because she would never, ever go.)

I guess they are right, but I'm wondering what others think... .

hi littlebirdcline

Therapy is a tricky tricky thing where BPD is involved.

The first problem is that to establish a therapeutic bond, the client needs to trust the therapist. Sounds deceptively simple but as abandonment is at the heart of BPD symptoms it's already going to be difficult to establish a good r/ship. Then as the bond grows and the T starts with healing tools the client often is short circuited as s/he thinks now that progress is being made, growth away from the T is the result and abandonment reflex is reawakened. ("If they cure me, they'll leave me"

On the other hand, pwBPD do seem to love to talk about themselves so can use therapy as a self indulgence rather than as a psychoeducational experience.

T's are often loth to take on clients with the disorder for these reasons. Also because they are (the clients) usually highly intelligent, excellent at deception and very very likely to trigger the therapists own unresolved problems.

Obviously this isn't every BPD client but it is a whole lot of them. The disorder is quite resistant to 'help'

Yes, my therapist was saying that if she asked another therapist to take a patient and said they were BPD, they would likely refuse.  But if she said "trauma survivor", they would be happy to take the client on.    It's all really a moot point anyway, as my mom would never go.  Even if she did, she would just sit there and not say anything of substance.  I just find this idea that it would do her more harm than good interesting. 

I've also heard many times that BPD is very resistant to help and successful "recovery" stories are few and far between.  I tried to get my mom to counseling and support groups after dad died.  Uh, uh... .wasn't gonna happen!  

I also think that it's so much harder for older people to deal with complex emotional and psychological issues.  Everything they've learned to fall back on has been there for so long, to strip it away and rebuild must be terrifying.  

On another note as well... .

When I was attempting to help or "fix" if you will, my deeply disturbed second husband (fix... .I know, my bad!), much of what he learned in counseling was incredibly helpful to him... .he now understood how EVERYONE ELSE (especially me) was the problem

That's not the first time I heard how therapy for those with personality disorders or other mental illnesses can be twisted and used against others.  It seems they use it to shore up their role as "victim".