BPDFamily.com

Does anyone have experience with someone with a dual disorder?  From what I have read BPD (and other disorders) are quite often accompanied by substance abuse.  My world was completely rocked when I discovered my ex's criminal behavior, drug addiction and "BPD" all within a short amount of time.  My entire bizarre history started adding up in a hurry.  I'm grateful to be out of the relationship, but struggle to heal.  

I often ask myself which of his behaviors can be attributed to which disorder and which is worse…the BPD or the drug addiction?

My UBPDexB struggled with alcoholism during our 8 year relationship.  He drank between 10-24 beers every day of the week.  It was also hidden from me at first.  We are no longer together but he has been sober for a little over a year now.  I had hoped that when he quit drinking, his abusive and bizzare behavior toward me would stop.  We began counseling together and that is when it became clear to me that his issues were not really tied to him being an alcoholic.  They went much, much deeper than that.  After a lot of research and therapy I learned about BPD and the pieces fell into place.  The core issue with BPD is typically a trauma that occurs during childhood.  They may drink or use drugs as a way to self-medicate (which escalates the behaviors), but the disorder is what drives their actions.

Thanks razemarie,

I was thinking along the same lines and like how you said, "the disorder drives their actions."  I attend a weekly support groups for loved ones of addicts.  It is extremely helpful, I only wish there were a support group for this particular disorder.  I guess at the end of the day I can rest in knowing the guiding principles can be used for healing and moving forward, regardless. 

Use this site as your support group!  The advice I have gotten on here has been life-saving.  I'm glad to hear you are going to a support group for loved ones of addicts.  I did the same thing through my church and it helped a lot.  It sounds like you are on the right track.  Keep working through these issues.  It helps to get things out of your head.  Post here and let others help you who have been through similar situations.  You are not alone!

Mine was bulemic, took drugs daily, drank heavily and daily, had been in rehab and was also.highly promiscuous. Lots.of red flags. Her rages almost always occurred.while drunk. I think all this was self medication. Shed sometime say it had taken her years to feel.OK about herself but I don't think she was actually anywhere near that point. She was very attractive and a.model but took amphetamines every day to stay slim, eventually having a seizure. I think.its all.connected.