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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Pieter2 on August 26, 2014, 06:43:29 AM



Title: Letter to my ex
Post by: Pieter2 on August 26, 2014, 06:43:29 AM
Halo All. Having read all the posts surrounding anger I thought this one might soothe and perhaps help you with the anger stage. This is a letter from us angry people to our BPDs/ex/whatever... .

Dear BPD(ex)

I am really angry with you today and have been for a while. But, I realise the following now and suggest you find help. I realise now what FOG I was in and that you manipulated, deceived and lied to me. But I will get over it because I realised the following things (Which you will never realise):

1. Splitting me black : So, I'm the bad one am I? OK then, I suppose that's how you feel. Then why did you lie to me? Why did you deceive me and cheat on me? You know what you are and what you've done and your endless shame will haunt you. I am not haunted by anything. Just the PTSD from being with you. And did you notice? I'm at the anger phase of letting you go. Only one more phase and whoop! You're gone to me. You see, I also know that as soon as your new person doesn't give you attention, you'll try and contact me, you'll paint me white again like you did with all your ex's, but unfortunately you forget : You are black in my books forever. You don't have the option to be split white again. And I know you hate that - Abandonment. Well, sucks to be you. Because I am abandoning you and you are black in my books forever. That's why I went NC.


2. Moving on: I was scared that you'd move on to the next guy/girl and be "all good", but I realised you won't. That's because you have BPD. You'll be the same and that puts my mind at ease. I am NOT missing out. Will you find someone better? Perhaps. But if he/she is better than what I was (And note I said "WAS" then he/she will leave you soon or the relationship will be even worse. If the person is worse than me. Well then: You're getting what you deserve. Am I going to be better though? Yes, I certainly am. So think about that, dear BPD, and let it sink in. I am definitely going to be MUCH better. I am working on myself and am going to treat the next person as well and better than I treated you. Because I won't be so frustrated and stressed and because they'll appreciate me, I'll be a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife to die for! Trust me. And I WILL find someone better. Not that I can do any worse is it now? Hell, I'm even in the gym now and looking great. Did you notice, dear BPD, that I am actually the one moving on? Not you! You may already have someone new to sleep with but that is not moving on because your cycles repeat, mine DON'T and I'm learning to be better, look better and to find someone MUCH MUCH better than you! I'm actually the one moving on.

3. You think I am weak: You always thought that. You thought you could manipulate and control me and you did, but I come back stronger. All your Hippocratic outrages were just that to me now. Hypocritical! I know you were WRONG. And you knew it too even back then! I don't stand for that cr@p. I never again will. You've been exposed dear. And all my family and friends and lifelong relationships will still be there for me now. I, unlike you, do not have trouble forming them. Enjoy your cycle, I'M OUT!  Just so you know :

- The sex was not the best I ever had, because I felt like a human vibrator.

- You did NOT fulfil one single need I had;

- You are a child;

And may I ask:

- Who are you going to yell at now?

- Who will you lie to and cheat on and tell everyone that he/she abuses you?

- Who will pay for all your stuff and run your errands?

Not much of a relationship hey. I know you have a crippling low self-esteem and cannot control yourself. Well, TOUGH!

Lastly, I am normal. Suck on that!

Regards,

The guy/gal who will see you in a year's time with a loving partner by my side, looking good as hell, with my life being soo much better than even the best day with you.


Title: Re: Angry? - This is for you
Post by: Caramel on August 26, 2014, 07:24:26 AM
Lastly, I am normal. Suck on that!

You are funny Pieter!   :)


Title: Re: Angry? - This is for you
Post by: Suspicious1 on August 26, 2014, 07:29:55 AM
Yep, that's doing a good job of stirring up my anger. I like it!


Title: Re: Angry? - This is for you
Post by: ajr5679 on August 26, 2014, 07:35:42 AM
wow i love it . i would love to save this letter and put it in my wallet.


Title: Re: Angry? - This is for you
Post by: camuse on August 26, 2014, 08:47:55 AM
Great stuff pieter! Indeed, it's hard not to feel like they have just moved on, while we are left in pieces, but of course - the reverse is true. It's hard not to feel angry about being lied to, cheated on and made a fool of - but really, who does such a person actually hurt? Themselves.

I'm still angry, but less so than yesterday - so I feel true detachment is around the corner.

Hit the gym hard again today, people are now commenting that I'm looking better than ever before :D

Your posts have helped with this process :) Thank you for taking the time to post your words of wisdom 


Title: Re: Angry? - This is for you
Post by: topknot on August 26, 2014, 09:05:31 AM
Echoes my thoughts EXACTLY! :)


Title: Re: Angry? - This is for you
Post by: Recooperating on August 26, 2014, 09:16:53 AM
Whahahahaha! Briljant, Pieter! |iiii



Title: Re: Angry? - This is for you
Post by: pieceofme on August 26, 2014, 09:58:57 AM
this is amazing!


Title: Re: Angry? - This is for you
Post by: Popcorn71 on August 26, 2014, 12:10:38 PM
Lol - yes that says it all!

Thanks  |iiii


Title: Re: Angry? - This is for you
Post by: amigo on August 26, 2014, 12:14:37 PM
This made me smile. Thank you. :)

I am always taking the zen approach, trying to be strong, peaceful, detached, but sometimes it just feels so good to feel angry and tell them how f'd up they really are 

Thanks for doing that for me


Title: Re: Letter to my ex
Post by: Gmoney on August 26, 2014, 01:45:21 PM
Thank you so much for this. I had to see my uBPDxw today at school for a meeting. She asked how much longer I will have her blocked on my phone as we were fowling the teacher to the class room. My response was forever. I left right after the meeting and said not one word to her.

I so needed to see this today!

:)


Title: Re: Letter to my ex
Post by: Saskatchewan on August 26, 2014, 03:01:18 PM
Ha! Too funny, thanks so much. The human vibrator line gave me a good belly laugh. I actually had that very conversation with my BPDexgf. I may have said "human dildo". I can't believe how that hit so close to my own experience but I guess thats why we are all here. We share the same experiences.!  |iiii